I woke up at 6 yesterday to find my yard filled with cars. I live two blocks east and about 5 blocks south of Hattiesburg High. I was like, damn, somebody must be givin' away free money at that there school. What, they are? Apparently the Red Cross was giving out $300.00 to the qualified. I have no idea what it takes to be qualified, however. I wasn't about to go stand in that line just to find out. Besides, what with 2 weeks of not being able to go anywhere to buy anything, I actually have a little more cash than I normally do this time of month, and canned food for weeks. Sure, the roof needs to be replaced, but when I look around my little town, I realize how lucky I am compared to so many others. Besides, I have heard that some of these "free money" lines are getting a little out of hand.

Speaking of standing in line, you don't want to be trying to pay your cell bill at the shop these days. The wait is as much as 3 hours due to all the folks who lost phones or who have moved into the area and are trying to get cell service here. Bert Ford tells me that he was in line this week behind a lady who was waiting to get a black Razr. She stood there the better part of 3 hours, and lost it when she was informed that they weren't even in the stores yet. She accused the sales guy of hoarding them. She then used the silver Razr she already owned to make a call. Damn, lady.

One last line story. To the young man who cut in front of everyone who had been patiently waiting as the checkout folks wrote each book down by hand at the Hattiesburg Library on Monday: karma's a bitch, my friend, and with the current state of your complexion, that Nancy Drew mystery you were checking out may be as close as you ever get to meeting an interesting woman. Ya punk ass bitch.

Whew, I gotta calm down before I go out in my yard and shoot yell at small children playing ball. I'm getting old.

Heard from Greggypoo today that the gift from Dr. Max was not just the requested bottle of chianti, but was, in fact, two bottles and an entire smoked salmon. We are gathering somewhere this weekend to toast Dr. Max. Hattiesburgers email me if you would like to come along.


Finally, I am soliciting pictures from the storm damage in the Hattiesburg area. Email them to me and I'll post them here.

deadmandancing at gmail dot com

(Oh, and if you want a gmail account, just ask. I have plenty of invitiations. You can't give the damn things away.)