Hattiesblog

2006-03-22T20:44:00.000-06:00

For various reasons, I sometimes have to walk to work. Often on the journey, acquaintances will honk and yell at me as they drive right on by. Worse than this are people who later say, "I saw you on the way to work the other day." Well, why didn't you pick me the hell up? Just keep it to yourself if you ever pass me by. Allrighty, then.

I have just purchased an MP3 player in a futile attempt to stay in the loop, I suppose, though I don't think I have put a piece of music on it that is more recent than 10 years old. Some of the stuff I have on it I have had in each of the following formats: 8-track, vinyl, cassette, cd and now MP3.

So I'm walking to work today, and I'm wearing dress shoes with white athletic socks (over knee-high panty hose, long story). I'm smoking a cigarette and chewing gum at the same time. I can't keep the ear buds from falling out of my head for long due to my abnormally small ears. I am listening to Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush and even Simon and Garfunkel. I am aware that I am a colossal dork.

But I am listening to this music on my new MP3 player and it is a friendly and sunny day. I can't hear you honking at me. I can't help but walk in time to the tune with a newly springy step. I am a dork, and I feel like. . . I feel like a rock goddess.

A picture to satisfy your curiosity

2006-02-27T21:16:00.000-06:00

Here's an example of the Big Banana mentioned in an earlier post.
Get yer durn minds out of the gutter.
(Courtesy the Washington Banana Museum--where else?)

This Ol' House

2006-02-27T20:47:00.000-06:00

I live in an 78 year-old house, albeit, thanks to Katrina, one with a spanking new roof. We have hardwood floors (that are a mess), and 12 foot ceilings (with walls that are--eeek!--covered with dark brown panelling circa the '70's). Lotsa potential (but very little money).

Recently, we have sprung a leak in the bathroom. No problem. It must be the hot water tap that we just turned back due to the family coming to visit. It's normally turned off at the floor due to a stream of water that pours from it and a $400.00 gas bill. Folks are gone, so the tap is turned back off. And still the floor is soaked. Ok. Perhaps it is coming from the toilet, which is sorta like a rocking chair (which is not as much fun as it sounds). But no, that is apparently not the source. Well, damn, it must be the claw-foot tub. Sounds fairly simple, huh? It would be, except that the last owner (who happens to be my ex-boyfriend--Hi, again, D.!) enclosed the tub because, though in good shape on the inside, the outside is unsightly. Simpler to get a little plywood and box in the sucker than get 4 strong men to haul it outside, rent a sandblaster and repaint it.

For two weeks the fiance' and I have ignored the problem as much as we are able whilst still bailing out the tub after each bath. Tonight, however, I have charged Scott with dismantling the box and seeing what's what. So that's what he's doing with the help of the cats, who are very interested in the whole process. As I told him, I am helping by writing this post (hey, it keeps me out of the way).

The problem with dismantling the box is that the carpet now covers only part of the floor. The linoleum under the carpet simply must go. Which would only serve to remind us how half the floor is rotten. This has caused a sag in the wall, which has knocked that side of the house off kilter. Scott swears we now have to level the whole thing, which I forsee will cause cracking of the walls, and perhaps the earth to open up and swallow this little plot of land.

Anybody out there have room for one tall, skinny man, one shortish, not so skinny woman, and three ornery cats?

Gettin' Hitched

2006-02-23T10:56:00.000-06:00

Well, I've done it again. Gotten engaged, I mean. And this time, I actually have a date decided, so it shouldn't go on for the 10 or so years as it did last time (with a perfectly wonderful man, I may add. Hi, D.!).

So, the first time I was engaged, women came from far and near to congratulate me and remind me how this is my chance to finally have that wedding that I had imagined for years and practiced endlessly with my barbie dolls and remember how cute she looked with that little toilet paper train and . . . .Wait, WHAT? No, ma'am, I don't remember, having never even had a Barbie doll to my recollection. (Though I did have a 3-feet-tall purple stuffed dog and a ridable big banana which I remember quite fondly. As I may have mentioned elsewhere, I was an odd child.)

Apparently, I was singulary unromantic as a child, and I suppose I remain so today. Not wearing white, my dears. The current plan is a Justice of the Peace, a nice family reception, and then a kick-ass party, to which you are all invited.

More details to follow (I promise) and a discussion of the man who dares jump the broom with me.

Obligatory work-based rant

2006-01-25T11:03:00.000-06:00

I have a confession. I work in a call center.

I am not a telemarketer, but if you were to speak to me in my official capacity, I often have not-so-good news to give you. I have been cussed at and had my heritage denigrated, but the worst is folks--women and men, but men are somehow more heartbreaking--crying. Fortunately, the crying does not occur too often, leaving me free to focus on the following aggravating things that occur on a daily basis:

The first real person you speak to is your portal and guide for the rest of your call. Pissing me off with your first statement ain't the best tactic.

The phrase "you people" is truly one of the most obnoxious things a person can say.

". . . Uh. . . ." is not the answer when asked your account number, name, or social security number.

I have no control over the phone system. I don't know why I have to ask you all the same questions again, and yes, I agree it is pretty stupid.

I have no control over the phone system and no, I don't know the name of the Muzak-ed song you were just listening to.

I have no control over the phone system, and starting our call with a rant about how this is America and why the !@#$ is there a Spanish option when we should all speak Amurican will not endear you to me.

I have no control over the phone system, and no, I do not know why you ended up with me when you specifically entered the Spanish language option.

I have can see how long you have been waiting, and no sir, you have not been on hold 25 minutes.

I can see your payment history, and no, ma'am, this is not "The first time in 20 years" you have ever been late.

The first pen you pick up will not work. Be prepared for that, and realize that I have heard at least ten people today comment on how funny that is.

When asked, "Is there anything else I can do for you," the answer "Pay all my bills," is cute only to you.

And what is UP with people who read strings of numbers this way:
"Ten, twenty-three, one, one, three zeros, five" for 1023110005? Just read the damn number, a digit at a time, please. One, zero, two, three, one, one, zero, zero, zero, five. . . . How hard is that?

Even more difficult to understand are people who state dates like this: The "sixth of the seventh" translates to July 6th. I have had conversations that go much like this one:

"I paid the first time the sixth of the seventh, but my second payment was on the third of the eighth then I didn't pay again until the eleventh of the tenth." What.the.fuck. Someone tell me, is this just a Southern thing?

I am sure there are many more irritations I can tell y'all about which I am currently blocking, but I am off to work, perhaps I will update this tonight.

Lest we forget

2006-01-19T09:42:00.000-06:00

Here is an email I recieved from Ben Bounds last week, in case eveyone is thinking that the Mississippi Gulf Coast is up and running smoothly again.

I just got back from The Mississippi Gulf Coast last night, and I thought I should report back to all of you on what its like down there... I'm really not sure if words can do it justice, it is that bad...

I spent 2 and a half days in Long Beach, Pass Christian, Biloxi and Gulfport, and it looks like a nuclear warhead was dropped right there on the Coastline... There are nearly no standing buildings within 2-4 blocks of the beach, depending where you are... Trees, roofs, cars, trucks, signs, etc. are floating or anchored up to 100 yards out in the water... Concrete slabs are all that is left of the antebellum homes, hotels, clubs, restaurants, shopping malls, etc. on the beach... Literally, there are stairways that go up to nothing, cars lodged in houses, swimming pools, and trees...

There are small communities of nothing but tents and trailors called "Camp Hope", "Camp Gospel", "Camp Faith" and so on... There are campers, tents and trailers in peoples yards where their relatives are living... There are people camped out on their slabs fully armed and waiting on their insurance checks... These are people who vary from lower to upper class now living side by side in muggy, humid open-air communes with bugs and littler and filth all around them... They have almost no restaurants within a mile of the water... and the ones that are there are serving the most basic foods like hamburgers, pizza, etc... These bugs, the noseums (or nosiums) are mean as Hell and they bite the shit out of you and leave little red marks up and down your arms, and they get inside you clothes too... Most of these people have no hot water to bathe in and only shower about 3 times a week...

There is sewage water standing and contaminated water that never seems to go away... The smell in certain places is nearly unbearable... There is broken glass, and splintered wood and sharp scrap metal everywhere... plastic Wallmart and Wallgreens bags fill the trees where they used to have leaves... there are TVs and refrigerators, heating units, AC units, computer monitors and such on every street corner waiting to be picked up and disposed of... I even saw some teddy bears and barbie dolls half-burried or stuck in trees on certain lots...

There are workers from North Carolina, Virginia, New Jersey, Tennessee, Kentucky, Oklahoma and Texas, as well as North Mississippi that were with various agencies like FEMA, the Army Core of Engineers, Red Cross, etc... They are working in disbelief of what has happened. They all told me they can't wait to get home and that they had been down there too long... And you can barely tell that they have even put a dent in the clean-up... They need more volunteers, more supplies, more food, more water, more everything...

It is so overwhelming that as soon as you see it, you get a lump in your throat and the hair on you body stands up... And you catch yourself fighting back tears every time you turn a corner... But nobody down there wants your sympathy -- they want help. They need help. The press and the White House have forgotten about them... Their neighbors and friends have stopped calling to check on them... They are exhausted, tired, dirty, scared, destraught, angry, frustrated, sad, lonely and confused. There hasn't been a disaster like this in our time... Camille didn't make this kind of impression... There hasn't been a disaster like this in the U.S. since the 40s, so there are few people who can tell you the last time anyone on American soil had it this bad...

If you have time, money or supplies to donate to the resillient residents of the Mississippi Gulf Coast, please do so... They are trying to rebuild their lives, but they need our help. There are many places you can go to donate, and all you have to do is give a little... I don't know if I would recommend going down there unless you have a strong stomach and lots of free time to get your hands dirty. But there are plenty of other ways to help... Like I said, there is no way to put what is going on and what has already happened down there into words... It is the saddest thing that I can remember in my 27 years (admittedly not that long)...

Sorry for the sappy e-mail, but it is easier than telling this story 1,000 times to everyone on this list... You don't have to forward this to anyone... Just don't forget about our friends and family on the Coast.

Ben Bounds

Oxford, MS

P.S. George W. Bush made his first trip to the Coast in 3 months today... I voted for him, so I am not pointing any fingers, but shouldn't we all ask "Where the Hell have you been?"

O, ye of little faith

2006-01-05T10:05:00.000-06:00

Well, I would have agreed with the comments by DSMars and Anne Arkham on the post below mere days ago, but that was before I ran across an article on "accessory" nipples on the internet. I found them a fascinating evolutionary tidbit, kinda like the gill-having stage that human fetuses go through. Sort of, wow, that's neat, and how can anyone not believe in evolution with this sorta thing going on. But then I read further on the subject. . . .

I have always had a cute little mole below my left breast. Now, this is not the sort of thing a swimsuit model would be sporting after a dip in a cold pond. Not at all nipple-like. I had never given it a thought. But as I was reading, it slowly started dawning on me: "Holy shit! It couldn't be, yet. . . yet. . .Yes! My little "mole" meets all the qualifications of a supernumerary nipple! Now, what do I think about that?!" It was a shift in perspective, for sure. What once was an interesting philosophical idea was now an object on my own body. I think I really liked it better when it was an abstraction rather than a reality, but did I think I was an exception from evolution? And now Mark Whalberg and I finally have something in common.

Happy Random New Year

2006-01-01T13:05:00.000-06:00

You know how you can be sailing along through life, complacent, but in an ok way, then all of a sudden you realize something about yourself you never knew that sort of shakes you up a bit, such as discovering you have a third nipple?

No? Well, it's a shocker, I'll tell you.

Happy New Year

2005-12-30T07:36:00.000-06:00

Unlike so many others here in the Southeast, I ring in 2006 in a better position than the beginning of 2005. I just got my first paycheck after going full-time at work (whoo-hoo!), I have a new roof over my head, and I have made some "life-style changes" that have improved my outlook and perhaps health as well. So, I can't complain, but don't worry, that won't be stopping me from continued grousing.

To everyone out there who is still struggling through what, for many, has been the worst year of their lives, here's hoping that 2006 brings some new good things to you.

Meanwhile, ponder the fact that the average person will be spending $172 to celebrate New Year's Eve this year, according to Ad Freak. Perhaps many of us should embrace putting that plastic away as our New Year's resolution. . . .

Hum Buggery

2005-12-25T08:46:00.000-06:00

I trust no one will read this today, so my little bitter thoughts won't disturb your Christmas day.

I don't know why I am so very jaded this particular Christmas. I have experienced damn near 40 of them, so why this particular year has gotten under my skin is a mystery. The thing that is (hum) bugging me so much is the sheer surprise factor of the season. Morning news segments about forgetting to by that certain someone a gift and hitting the malls yesterday gall me. Stories about standing in line to mail last minute gifts dumbfound me. Christmas happens EVERY YEAR, people.

I work in a financial institution dealing with folks and their loans. Every December, the calls start coming in from people who want to "defer" the December payment. (Many of them even call it the "Christmas payment.") If ever I decide to quit my job, this is how those particular calls will go:

Caller: "Hi. I was wondering if you guys defer Christmas payments."
Me: "No, sir, we don't do that."
Caller: "But why not? I need a little extra cash this time of year."
Me: "Were you not aware that Christmas was coming this year, sir?"
Caller: "Of course I was, but my car loan folks sent me a letter stating that they were doing it. You people are not being helpful."
Me: "Sir, let's think about this, 'kay? Christmas is an annual event, is it not? And you have a 30- year loan, do you not, sir? That would be 30 years of once-a-year deferrals. That would mean that at the end of your loan, you would still owe 30 months of payments. That is 2 and a half years of payments, isn't it, sir? And Sir, I hate to tell you this, but your car loan people are not being 'helpful' to you. They are not waiving interest this month. Deferring your payment works for them, not for you. They are going to get theirs, sir, never fear."
Caller: "Huh. I hadn't thought about it that way."
Me: "I suggest that you take a hint 'long about Halloween when the stores start putting up Santas right alongside the Dracula costumes. They ain't kidding--Christmas is going to happen again, I guarantee you. It will happen this year, next year, and all they years of your life. It will still be happening when the last man on earth is putting up his Christmas stick with the help of his mutated dog. Why are you fucking surprised this year?"

Well, I hope that you have a merry and fiscally solvent Christmas and a Happy New Year. I need some egg nog.

The New Opulence

2005-12-16T08:42:00.000-06:00

Here's a picture the S.O. took in Bay St. Louis of a FEMA trailer. Hmmm.

Good Morning!

2005-12-13T09:01:00.000-06:00

Woke up at the crack of 9 am this morning to to something that sounded like huge mutant rats eating my house while fist fighting. It was glorious! The roof is finally getting fixed.

What's goin' on

2005-12-07T10:40:00.000-06:00

Whew, this working 8 hours a day like a normal human being is taking it out of me, I'll tell ya. How do you people do it?

Other than work, there are a few other things going on: I am seriously considering buying what were called "roller skates," back in the 1800's when I was coming up and and are now apparently termed "quad skades" on which to scoot to work. Now, if they were still "roller" skates, I would understand that any of you who might see my almost-forty year-old self on my way downtown might get quite a chuckle out of it. But on "quad" skates, I am sure I will be the fleet embodiment of kewl, so no honking and pointing, now.

Also in the works is a serious plan to take a week-long canoe trip to the Boundary Waters/Quetico area in summer, 2007. I know that seems like a long way off, but there's a lottery system for permits, and the window on getting in on that for 2006 has already closed. We plan on driving up there, which is a fantastic trip in itself, so we also need the time to come by a car that is worthy of the trip. Oh, and I also need as much time as possible to get my self worthy of such a trip, too. Not in the best of shape, your wanna-be quad-skating author.

Scott and I are thinking about taking another couple with us. Do you know how difficult it is to come up with a pair who can withstand the drive, the canoeing, the portaging, and the punning with us that this will entail? And who will still be an item in 2007? We can only think of one possibility, so here's my invite, Carla C. If you read this before I see you again, email me and let me know if you're up to it.

For everyone else, please be kind to the little lady on wheels when you ~~run across~~ see her.

2005-11-23T10:13:00.000-06:00

I am experiencing a renaissance of cooking. No, that makes it seem like I have history of cooking, which is not really true. Oh, sure, I've flirted with the occasional recipe--once in my youth I whipped up a whole pan of meringue. No pie, just the topping, and it was delish. There was the ill-advised eggplant stew affair during my vegetarian years. The recipe didn't say to peel the damn thing; is that my fault? Purple stew, not so delish.

Nowadays, I cook about 3 days a week. My speciality is soup. It's difficult to mess up soup, and you can make a "cream of" anything. Soup sorta cooks itself. I am making soup as I type this, in fact.

The main problem with all of this cooking is that Scott won't eat it. He also won't read a book I've recommended or agree with anything I say, so it may be a relationship-systemic problem. I prefer to think of it as a difference in tastes, however. I am a big fan of tomatoes in all thier forms, from a light red sauce to eating one like an apple. I am somewhat adventurous; I like sashimi, for example. I love fresh veggies and absolutely anything with chili powder. Scott likes, well, frozen corndogs. And cereal. Straight out of the bag, because he won't drink milk. Needless to say, Scott is very thin, while I am. . . not.

So, Scott and I either have a fundamentally antagonistic relationship, a practially unsurmountable difference in preferences, or he has cottoned to the fact that soup is a fine vehicle for slow-acting poison. Ooops, excuse me, it's time to go stir.

2005-11-22T22:58:00.000-06:00

I had promised myself I would never do the "I apologise for not updating this blog" post. So, I'm not. I don't apologise. I have proudly not updated this blog. My life, it is too exciting! I am far too busy to entertain you, you people with no lives, who anxiously check this site four, five hundred times a day. "Maybe now!" you say. "Nope, but what about now?!" "Perhaps NOW she'll be back with an entertaining tale or on-point observation." But no, I am illusive. I am withholding myself from you. Perhaps I am even teasing you. What a bitch.

Or maybe I am suffering from a spot of ennui. You know it--that sense that everything just is. Oh, yes, those kittens are cute. Ho-hum. 200 hundred channels and nothing's on (but who am I kidding, I don't even have cable). I could pick up a magazine, but they are so heavy, and all the way across the couch. Could call friends, but what new could they possibly have to say after I pushed all those teeny buttons?

And the internet, she is so, so-how you say?-so empty.

Decision Time

2005-11-16T12:07:00.000-06:00

I have decided to stick with my old job with the promotion for several reasons. (Benefits)

The new counseling job could not promise me that it would last three months, much less the 18 months that the grant could extend. My position would have been to supervise folks who would be going into the community to assess need for counseling services for survivors of Katrina. Here in Hattiesburg, I believe that the time for this sort of service has passed. I was concerned that I woud be doing that for a month or so, and the grant would run out, or worse, that I would feel pressured to show need that wasn't really there to keep the grant going. This does not reflect on the interviewer--he was a very nice guy, and the agency does its best to serve Hattiesburg, I feel. But I know how these things go. The way grants work, you gotta use it or lose it, and that makes for somewhat murky ethical waters.

I feel I've made the right choice for me, right now. If I have a burning desire to go back into counseling, I'm sure I could find a position at a later time. Meanwhile, it's back to the bank job with me. But with benefits!

Short Eyes

2005-11-11T07:37:00.000-06:00

To the grey-haired gentleman at the public library Monday: You weren't exactly subtle when that 6 year-old girl walked by you as you pretended to read--I think I heard your neck pop when you crained your head around to keep her in view.

And I know a precocious 12 year old in a Catholic school-girl outfit is the stuff of many a sordid fantasy, but really, sir, putting your sunglasses on so you could oogle her a little less obviously was, well, pretty damn obvious.

I would have said something to you like, "Hey, Short Eyes. You need to be watching yourself," but I didn't want to give you a head's up. Maybe this way, parents will have a fighting chance to keep your sick old self away from their kids.

What a week!

2005-11-11T04:44:00.000-06:00

Through no fault of my own, I have had quite a great week. Monday, my boss at my part-time job offered me a promotion to full-time with a raise and benefits.

Then on Wednesday, I did finally have jury duty, which actually turned out for the best. I was juror 35, and juror 34 was chosen as alternate, so I ended up with my $40 dollars with very little effort at a time when I can use the dough. (Though the pay had increased from $35 to $40 since my last go at jury duty, as Scipio had mentioned in comments below, instead of writing the check and handing it to us as we left the room, the check, as they say, is in the mail.)

Then, yesterday, I finally had the interview for the job counseling Katrina survivors. This was a job that was billed to me as volunteer work, and probably based on the Mississippi Coast. Turns out, it is a paid position--33.5K a year, and is right here in Hattiesburg. Dude offered me the position before I even left the room.

So, this spate of good news doesn't exactly make for gripping blogging, but I did want to share my good news with you guys.

2005-11-07T11:16:00.000-06:00

Those who know me know that I read just about everything. I'll read almost absolute trash if there is nothing else. One summer, I even read a few Harlequins just to see if there was anything to the fuss. (Nope. As you'd expect, poorly written, beyond-soft-core porn for women whose little minds have been turned to mush by the idea of romantic love. The same women who, when they heard I was engaged, said "Oh, my God! Now you can have the wedding dress you dreamed of as a child!" WTF?? I never even thought of getting married when I was a child. And if someone were to ask me about getting married, I probably would have said I was going to marry my mom. Needless to say, I am no longer engaged. But I digress.)

Like any good reader, I owe the library money. My fine at the library constantly hovers around the magical $25 mark. Above that, you can't borrow any books, but you can pay it down by $.50 and you're back in business. Once I had a minor, but embarrassing, panic attack when I had no cash and they WOULDN'T LET ME CHECK ANYTHING OUT. (Thank you, Jennifer C., for rescuing me.) I think I will have Scott, my S.O., pay my library fine for Christmas.

I decided to take several days off this week and then realized I have absolutely no money and no real way of going anywhere. It appears that jury duty is a no go, so I'll have 5 days in a row with nothing to do. (Nothing fun to do, anyway. I have tons of chores that need doing, but let's not think about that.) So, I am compliling a list of books to get at the library. (With the rare exception, I no longer buy books; I read so rapidly it makes no economic sense. Plus that whole "no money" thing.) Anybody out there reading anything good these days? I enjoy speculative fiction, short stories in the vein of David Sedaris, mysteries, some non-fiction, and the occasional best seller. I ain't picky.

I would also like to hear from folks who know of good books for adults to read to one another. Scott is a very good reader and I like him to read to me. My father read to me frequently, and some of my favorite childhood memories (that do not involve weddings) are of his reading "Huckleberry Finn" to me on camping trips. I think it is a good bonding experience for children, and is a nice part of a relationships for adults. Finding books that are suited for reading aloud is dificult, however, so please pass your ideas along. One good one to start is The Princess Bride by William Goldman.

Not again

2005-11-04T12:34:00.000-06:00

I have been called to jury duty. Again. The 4th time in about as many years, it seems. I am the only registered voter in Hattiesburg, apparently.

I am one of the rare folks who doesn't really mind this. Usually, it's called off at the last minute anyway, and even if it isn't, it is interesting to watch the legal system first-hand. And though it sucked more when I had a "real job," and the $35 per diem that jury duty pays got taken by my job in exchange for them giving me the time off, now that I am working part-time, I will actually earn a few more bucks that day than usual.

The one other time I actually had to go, I was pretty far back in the pool and never got near to being called. I sat and watched the slow, slow wheels of justice turn for about 5 hours and went on home. But even if I am first in line, I feel sure that I will never sit on a jury. I am far too liberal for the Prosecution, and far too smart for either side. I don't have to come up with sob-stories about how I have two cancerous children, a Draconian boss who will fire me for missed time, or a heart condition that simply cannot tolerate the excitement of traffic court, to be dismissed.

Too bad, kinda. I envision myself as the lone hold-out on a nationally important case brilliantly arguing arcane points of law and slowly bringing the others to my point of view, saving the unjustly accused from death row. So you see why I won't be sitting on a jury any time soon.

From the "word I used this week I am most proud of" file: Moribund. (Second definition) Whooo!

Random Me

2005-11-01T01:20:00.000-06:00

Did this year's Halloween last forfuckingever for you? Damn October 31st on a Monday. Folks I know started being Halloweenies last Thursday. (And damn that Daylight Saving Time, too. How stupid is it that it changes right before Halloween, cutting down on the daylight in which those tikes in dark costumes are visible.) However, I did have the pleasure of seeing both scary Mike Tyson and creepy Ozzy Osborne on late-night tv last night. They both made more sense than I expected. This is faint praise.

I am subscribed to a service called "Who you Should Know," which each day gives me a profile of a different country and its leader. I should be more interested in this. I thought I was more interested in this. But I glance at this each day and delete it more quickly than I do a come-on from a Nigerian prince. I am a cretin.

From the "Things I have learned the hard way" file: licorice is a natural laxative.

For every person that tells me that they like this blog, there are three others who have promised to never speak to me again or perhaps even bring down some bodily harm on my little person if I say the word "blog" ever again. Blah blah blog.

This link's for you

2005-10-30T15:20:00.000-06:00

I had a silly idea for a meme today, so let's give it a whirl, shall we? Below are the names of ten folks who I suspect are lurking around on Hattie's Blog, along with a link or two that I hope they will find particularly interesting or pointed. Not everyone below blogs, but if you find yourself mentioned and have a blog, why don't you pick ten of your peeps and do the same for them?

1. Walley/Bert, a sick genious and graphic arist extrordinare, might be interested in the Church Marketing Sucks site. They have a good article on the evil that is Comic Sans. This is actually quite a good site with a take on churchy-stuff one doesn't often hear here in the deep south.

2. Mark B and furry friend Newton, step right up for Flying cats #1 and Flying cats #2.

3. Keith L., who has an eagle eye for the spelling error, I'll tell ya, needs to check out the helpful Center for Writing's list of no-nos.

4. Dead Pan Ann, whom I affectionately call my "grammar nazi" friend, will enjoy the previous link, and I hope she also gets a kick out of this The Angry Flower. (By the way, Ann, according to this quiz, I am
a GRAMMAR GOD!
Congratulations! If your mission in life
is not already to preserve the English tongue,
it should be. You can smell a grammatical
inaccuracy from fifty yards. Your speech is
revered by the underlings, though some may
blaspheme and call you a snob. They're just
jealous. Go out there and change the world.
--brought to you by Quizilla)

5. Crotchety, but loveable DSMars might enjoy some paintings inspired by Frank Zappa.

6. Greggie-tha-pooh, who has his hormones firmly in hand, should check out the freaks, geeks and girls in glasses of Nekkid Nerds. But unless you run your own business, like Greggy, you should probably wait until after work to view this (pay, with some nekkid freebies) site. (Sorry if this site is old news to ya, Greg. I know Suicide Girls is. . . .)

7. For Alphabitch, I present a clever little article from Stay Free Magazine. I can't remember where I saw this link and can only hope it wasn't originally at Alphabitch. :)

8. Anne Arkham, whose tagline reads "art. humor. larceny." should be interested in this article about female hackers. And perhaps she also might enjoy the MUM site. (Warning, not suitable for young men who are easily squicked out by natural lady-type body functions.)

9. Proud new papa Dr. Max puts me in mind of my favorite all-time Dave Barry column about his daughter, Sophie. And a great daddy blog, if you are into that kinda thing, is Velcrometer.

10. Finally, Magnus in Sweden! Married to a sweet Japanese lady and a huge fan of Sumo wrestling, here is your link: Sumo blog. Here's a translation of his latest post for those of us who don't read Japanese and are sadly without a Japanese wife.

This took me a surprisingly long time (though that may not be apparent), but I really enjoyed doing it. Even though it may not be the Best.Meme.Ever, (or even The.Most.Original.) I made it up! I hope the victims enjoyed it, and the rest of you guys, too.

Linky Round-up

2005-10-23T23:21:00.000-05:00

Why are you at the computer? The weather is beautiful! (At least here in Hattiesburg. Could be crap where you are. Feeling your pain, Florida.) Well, since you're here, you might as well check out some of my hand-picked links for bored folks.

The Arcata Eye is Arcata, California's weekly newspaper. The crime docket they print is at once quite alarming and amusing. Here's just one sample:
June 11, 2005:
A young-sounding woman got hurly
And vomited loudly and early
Alarmed 12th Street neighbors
Reported her labors
And cops found one drunk, boisterous girly.
--Doesn't scan great, but it ain't often you get your crime report in a limerick.

Brian Kass's site has links to literally hundreds of games. Set aside an hour or seven before you commit to clicking this link. Once you're done with that, visit Orisinal. I think I may have linked it before, but the sweetest little games on the internet deserve re-linkage anyway. My favorite is "Pocketful of Stars." I'm such a girl.

Shinyfire has good reading material that puts me in the mind of one of my other favorite web places, Cockeyed. Both worth wasting some time on. One of the best features of Cockeyed is the pranks area. I love a little gentle messin' with The Man.

The next sites are thought-provoking. The Implicit Association Test purports to tell you what you really think about women's roles, the overweight, different races, homosexuals, etc. A little time consuming, but pretty interesting. One of the tests made me feel a wee bit defensive, and no, I'm not telling you which one. And the Global Rich List might make poor little old you feel a little better about your lot in life.

Lunarama is a site for the night-owls in the crowd. It is a listing of restaurants and joints that stay open all night in select American citites. Now, I wonder why old Hattiesburg doesn't have a listing?

Wanting to do some shopping? Are you Pentacostal or perhaps a traveller here from the 1920's and looking to do a spot of swimming? WholesomeWear is for you. Good grief. (Via Sardonic Bomb.) On a similar note, author Anne Rice has apparently found the Lord (I figure he's been kickin' it at The Dungeon) and has written a novel about the 7-year-old Jesus, narrated by the Young Man himself. Look for "Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt" in a book store near you shortly.

Hey, now it's time to get yourself outside!

Dead Man Blog is live

2005-10-21T13:01:00.000-05:00

Trot on over and let me know what you think.
http://hattiesburgmusic.blogspot.com/

I'm a blogging fool!

2005-10-20T20:22:00.000-05:00

Debuting this weekend is the Dead Man Blog. This is something I should have done long ago, but it suddenly occured to me just today after getting another request to put local music-related stuff on this site. The Dead Man Blog will be a place for Hattiesburg folks to swap equipment, look for band mates, or discuss the local scene. Look for it in a day or two.

Hattiesburg Musicians!

2005-10-18T12:23:00.000-05:00

I have been asked (several times--sorry it has taken me so long) to announce that a new band in town, Cathode Ray Gun, is fervently looking for a drummer. For more information, please view Cathode Ray Gun. This is a band with a great pedigree and is sure to have an interesting sound. (Even though they're not an S&M band. No, I don't know what that means, either.) Contact cathoderaygun@cableone.net.

On a related note, I am announcing that I recently found a bass drum kicky-thing (hey, I'm not a musician) beside a dumpster. It appears to be in good shape. If you are the lucky new drummer for Cathode Ray Gun, I'll throw this at ya for nothin'. If you are a drummer in need of a kicky-thing, but Cathode Ray Gun is not in your future, email me and we'll discuss the incredibly low price. If this is your kicky-thing that you abandoned near a dumpster, shame on you! But if it was a mistake and you really want the kicky-thing back, email me and we'll discuss ransom. deadmandancing at gmail dot com.

Babies on Parade

2005-10-16T16:15:00.000-05:00

My mother once told me that she didn't understand why people go gaga over babies, as "they grow up to be bastards just like the rest of us." Not going into the implications that it was my mother telling me this, I do see her point.

I have somehow gotten the reputation as a hater of small children. This is ridiculous. Why, just today, I had lunch with a child. Granted, I was ignoring him, as he seemed to be gearing up to pitch a fit about something until he decided he wanted to have a race of who could drink his or her soda faster. Finding no other takers, he turned to ask me if I wanted to race. Someone at the table told him, "TC doesn't speak to children."

Another example of this was the very sweet lady at work who apologised to me about not showing me her newborn. She said, "I could see you were busy. Besides, you don't seem the be that fond of babies." Apparently, this comes off of me like waves of bad perfume.

I have been an only child most of my life and was not very well socialized to the world of children. I was raised primarily by cats and books. I was the kid at camp who ended up paired with the counselor, so uncomfortable was I with the other girls, and they with me. I was by turns both bossy and shy. I talked weird, with my vocabulary of a college student in 4th grade. Hell, I was weird. When I met small children I felt like formally introducing myself, and shaking their sticky little hands, not coochi-cooing and chucking under chins, etc.

As most real people know, life loves to screw with you. You're not a kid person? Well, then, let's make your first job out of your master's program be, oh, let's see, how about children's therapist? Yes, that will do nicely. And believe it or not, I was quite a good one. I found that I remembered what it was like to be a child, and I also found how rare a quality this is in an adult. I discovered how self-centered most parents are. A child's motivation is rarely to drive his parents crazy, but to get his needs met somehow. Parents who have forgotten the world a child lives in take even normal kid behavior very personally.

Somehow, my not being a "kid person" gives me some objective distance on them. I don't love children, this is true. I also don't love adults. But I love certain children and certain adults. Children are individuals: some are good natured, some are creeps; some are witty, some dull, just like the adults they grow into.

I think some of what people are reading off me during the baby parades is resentment that I am supposed to adore your child for being a child. I don't romanticise children and I probably am not the best pick for playing Santa at the mall, but I have learned one thing from my mother's harsh statement. These wonderfully diverse little beings grow up to be wonderfully diverse big people, just like the rest of us.

Life in the 21st Century, or where's my jetpack, already?

2005-10-12T12:50:00.000-05:00

Boys and girls, school has changed so much since the Long Ago when I attended. I never laid eyes on a computer until my Junior year, and then for only an hour a day. The glowing green screen had no icons, the box was interfaced with no other machines, and the pinnacle of my abilities was making it print my name 450 times. Sometimes. We had something called recess (no, not in Junior year, sillies, we're talking grade school) that was an unscripted free-time. Children, running willy-nilly, flinging each other around on merry-go-rounds at a nausea-inducing speed, and climbing monkey bars over CONCRETE. Recess was often a mini Lord of the Flies, friends, and one could easily determine the future wallflowers, ruthless execs and other adult types by merely seeing who was the noogied, and who the noogie-giver. Myself, I was the child that asked a question right as the bell rang. I was that kid who did her homework on the bus home. I was the noogied. (And I turned out ok. Right?)

Anyhoo, all of that was a preface to a couple of useful links for academic help which was unavailable to those of us who when to school in the Long Ago. I am thrilled to be living in an age of cell phones and GPS, on-line shopping and kitty porn, but I have to admit a little resentment that I wasn't able to cheat like your currently school-age whippersnappers.

Online Verb Conjugation. In tons of languages! Old Norse, Runic Swedish! Even the pluperfect tense! Whatever the hell that is.
Common Errors in English is an alphabetical list of those mistakes I'm always making.
Homeworkhelp.com "Providing real-time, interactive academic and professional classes for students, parents, and business professionals."
Bullying Online Oh, great, now I can get noogied in the privacy of my own home. No, wait, Bullying Online is actually a very comprehensive resource for victims of bullying, their parents and school personnel.It is UK-based, so some of the info won't apply in the US, but the site provides lots of generally useful material.

For some reason, many women seem to be attracted to tiny things: cute widdle dollhouse furniture, those small ceramic shoes, itty-bitty baby clothes. . . . Minimus is a site where you can pick up travel-size products of all types. Wook at the eensy Heinz ketchup bottle! Awww. (Via Cool Tools)

Is it safe to go in the water? The International Shark Attack File can tell you. They have maps of all known attacks, tips on reducing your chances of being bitten (though they have left off my preferred method: vacation in Minnesota), and other sharky facts.

Speaking of delving into dangerous waters, Plumbnet is the best resource I have found regarding all things plumbing. It is very nicely designed and covers topics of interest to the plumbing professional or the lowly homeowner.

There are many websites out there to help folks get organized, and I'd list them here, but I have lost that particular file. One to-do site that I have kept in mind is Remember the Milk, which humbly promises to help one "achieve domestic bliss." There are tons of pre-made to-do lists and multiple ways to get reminders of a special event. Oh, shit! According to Remember the Milk, I'm already late to somewhere. Gotta go!

2005-10-07T07:40:00.000-05:00

I was pleased to see this morning that the Hattie's Blog has passed its 10,000th visit. Some of which weren't even me!

One interesting thing that I have noticed about blogging is that my friends and aquaintances have an irrational fear that I will blog about them. Now, I ask you, with the exception of my post about my friend Mark, when have I ever written about folks in an embarrassing way? (Oh, that reminds me of a story I had forgotten to tell on Mark in that post. One day, I got an email from him, the body of which read "What is your email address?")

But even more pleasing than silly blog milestones was opening the door to find that it is actually coolish outside this am. Autumn is my favorite season, and I am able to enjoy it each year for 3.7 days before we are in to "cold and wet." (The other seasons here are "hot and wet," "just plain wet," and "hurricane!")

Does anyone remember the thundersnow we had about 11-12 years ago? Now, that was bizarre. Having experienced snow about 5 times in my life, I was not even aware that this phenomenon existed. The snow stuck around for a while, too, allowing Hattiesburgers to demonstrate thier snow- driving prowess. You can imagine how that went.

Apologia

2005-10-06T00:11:00.000-05:00

You can't openly like Sinead O'Conner without some sort of caveat. So here is mine: I know she's crazy. Yeah, I remember that she tore up a picture of the Pope (the only time anyone south of the Mason-Dixon line has sided with the Pope, by the way). Oh, and I am also aware that she was bald when she was in/famous.

But Sinead spoke to me for a time. I had several dreams of she and I. (Usually, we were on the David Letterman show. Set's smaller than you'd think.) In the late '80's, I wished I looked one 10th as good with hair as she did without.

Today I had a sort of a crazy warm flashback when I heard that a new Pixies album may soon be on the shelves. Then I heard that Sinead is going to be on Craig Ferguson. Call me when it's 2005 again, if you must.

Meanwhile, what about that Katie Holmes being pregnant?! I guess Scientologists still don't know what causes that.

Hog Bustin' and stuff

2005-10-03T23:15:00.000-05:00

It's Smokey the Goddamned Interactive Bear. This is a heavily interactive site that works. It's cheesy, aimed at kids, and it's from the gov'ment, but I have to say: It never crashed my computer and I may have learned something. (Though not a damn thing about alternative energy.)--Via

Meanwhile, I love Andy Rooney, but are we really spending $5.6 billion a month in Iraq? Honey, I know we're foolish, but that can't possibly be true.*

However, it does make a good lead-in to my joke of the month:

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!" Bush begins to cry.
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President gathers his composure, and looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

(thanks to Dave Tisdale and Fired up Missouri)

*Addendum: just because I don't want something to be true doesn't mean it ain't, apparently. See The Daily Kos and the Congressional Budget Office Analysis for fiscal year 2004.

Several hours later: I am abashed at my own naivete in this post, but $5.6 billion just seemed so. . .so. . . BIG! Good grief!

/too busy blogging about cats to have noticed these things.

Links of Varying Worth

2005-10-03T11:52:00.000-05:00

Here are some neat-o interactive websites.
A little graphics intensive, but I could view all of them and I am on a dinky dial-up connection.

Virtually Lost. I am not sure I am hip enough to visit this site, but I'm sure you are.
Eternity Travel. Wait, I think they are trying to teach me something. Sneaky!
Stretch Daily. I played around on this a while and only quit when I began to feel existentially inadequate.

You might need this one day. Useful Sites:

Find-A-Human. A clearinghouse for tips on how to navigate corporations' toll-free numbers to quickly get to a human operator. (In the same hack-the-system vein, on an elevator, hitting the "door-close" button along with the button for your floor will often cause the elevator to glide right on past the floors in-between, even if someone is waiting. Not real useful here in "Hey, we only have two floors-ville," but perhaps you live in a more metropolitan area.)

Mailinator. This one is genius. If you need an temporary email address, say to register at a site where you don't want to give your real info, you simply make up an address ending in "@mailinator.com" Later, you go to pick up your password or whatever at "sillything@mailinator.com" for example. The mail you receive there is only visible for 24 hours, and anyone can check it, so keep that in mind.

Snopes. This is a must-see for those of you who persist in sending me the latest "Little Billy is dying and needs bottlecaps, emails, or postcards for some reason," "Atheists are petitioning the FCC to get religious broadcasting banned from American airwaves," and "There's a new computer virus that can steal your underpants" emails. Come on people, get a little more net savvy or I'll have to put sugar in your gas tank. To my already web-savvy friends, you know this information bears repeating.

Recalls. One of the many useful .gov sites, this one is a listing of all US product recalls.

Firefox. I think this is simply the best webbrowser out there. Very, very personalizable and extendable. I rarely get popups or other ads with Firefox.

Story Code is another site that helps you decide what to read next. I look at these and intend on using them, but it always seems like a lot of work. If you use this, let me know how it works out for you.

If you are a sushi newbie, (pretty much guaranteed here in Hattiesgulch, wouldn't you say?) the Sushi Reference page is a good start.

Another neat idea is Jot Spot. It's a webpage where several people can real-time edit documents in WYSIWYG.

Speaking of WYSIWYG, whenever I run across an acronym with which I am not familiar, I use a resource such as Acronym Finder before I make a fool of myself. IMHO, if you don't RTFM, you are ABI. ("A Big Idiot," proprietary to Hattie's Blog.) You can even add the Acronym Finder to a sidebar on your browser. By the same token, I don't understand how people can post on the internet and admit that they aren't sure how to spell a word. I understand typos, but it's the internet, people! Hell, enter the word you aren't sure about into Google, and Google will correct you. I used that trick twice in writing this one post. Please send all grammar and spelling corrections to: imagrammartool@mailinator.com.

Nashville Musicians Helping Katrina Victims

2005-09-30T06:36:00.000-05:00

"many of you may or may not know that i was born & raised in southern
mississippi, the gulf coast and hattiesburg to be exact, for 20 of
those years. on top of that, many many many long hours and miles were
spent driving to new orleans for gigs, or to see family &
friends.....and then on top of that, 8 years living in mobile, alabama,
before moving up here to nashville. so.....what i'm trying to say is
that everywhere that i have lived before moving to nashville (for the
exception of jackson, ms) was, as you know, recently hit by hurricane
katrina. i am very thankful that my parents & other family members were
safe and able to evacuate, and that my close friends seem to be hanging
in there. but, am saddened by the devastation that remains for all the
folks that weren't so lucky."

I recieved this in my in-box this morning from Molly Thomas, who has played Hattiesburg several times in past years. She and many other Nashville musicians have arranged a benefit series for victims of Hurricane Katrina. Very sweet, and it looks like a good line-up, too. If you happen to be reading this from near Nashville, you need to check it out.

TC says hmmm. . . .

2005-09-29T21:59:00.000-05:00

I just did a Google vanity search for Hattie's Blog and the first page that comes up is this one. Here is in English, though that doesn't clear it up much. It does appear, however, that I as an abundant guest already applied successfully. So I guess that's good.

I am now the silliest person you know

2005-09-29T14:57:00.000-05:00

With the advent of my brand new, cat-o-centric blog,

I will no longer bore the vast majority of you with random cat posts while at the same time conveniently locating all of my feline friendly stuff in one place for the 2 of you that care.

Is this the beginning of the end for TC's addled little brain? Will our heroine end up a featured subject on Hard Copy: Cats and the Women Who Love Them? Has the Hattie's Blog finally alienated every last one of you? Tune in next episode, if you dare.

Stan is the MAN

2005-09-28T21:11:00.000-05:00

Everyone needs a Stan. He's the guy who you can neglect for months at a time, and then call at three am from jail and he'll be there with bail money and no questions asked. Of course, you'll have to put up with ribbing about it for, oh, well, forever. But a Stan is worth it.

Stan never calls me anything but Dead Man. Stan has himself convinced that I am a lesbian (or lesbo, in Stan's terms). Stan is a great husband and still quite the admirer of the ladies, the closer to first year in college, the better. Stan is a great kidder and I have never seen him in a bad mood. Stan has raised a great son and is as proud of his music career as if it were his own.

I generally get along well with older men, probably due to the kind of relationship I've had with my father. My dad is the kind of guy for whom a pun is the height of wit, and who thought my tart-tounge was adorable. Even when I was very young, Dad would insult me in front of his friends to show off my snarky come-backs. (This has caused no end of trouble in my life, come to think of it. I can't seem to turn it off.) Older guys, including Stan, seem to like my moxie.

This week, after not speaking to him for many months, I called Stan to see if he had a line on a roofer I could use. Of course he did, and the guy made it over to my house less than 5 hours later. And he didn't even charge me anything to patch up the patch-up job Scott had done previously.

I adore Stan, and I think the feeling is mutual, though me saying so would make him uncomfortable. "Aw, come on, Dead Man," I can hear him saying.

But here's a big thank you for being there, Stan, from your friend the lesbian Dead Man.

Beware, Rant Ahead

2005-09-26T13:42:00.000-05:00

Earlier, I made the observation that people in the Katrina catastrophe are doing what they've always done, only more so. The generous are being grandly magnanimous; the paranoid are losing their ever-lovin' minds; the depressed are catatonic; the poor are destitute; etc. To this let me add that I am now becoming quite seriously pissed off listening to some of my friends and aquaintances. The selfishness and sense of entitlement that some people are now demonstrating is incredible, and though I should expect it, disheartening.

The young Black women at work have been encouraging me to get me some of that "free money," as they know that my roof is a mess. The have told me, "Girl, you White folks don't know how to do it, get on down there and tell 'em you need all they can give you."

Let me tell you that White folks do know how to do it. I know of a doctor's family with very minimal damage who got the $2000.00 from FEMA and bought a $1300.00 clock for their mantle. And they think it's cute, how they scammed the system. People with a home in Michigan and a condo in Florida got FEMA to reimburse for their purchase of a generator, again having sustained minimal damage at their home in Mississippi.

Oh, White folks know how to do it, all right. And these are the same people who think that people on welfare are all scam artists, and the same people who begrudge working single mothers thier foodstamps. The aid that we are being given by various agencies is still welfare, people. Just because the stigma is not the same under these circumstances doesn't mean you are entitled to "free money." Just because your home is in a county that is a federally mandated disaster area doesn't mean you have suffered a calamity. Did you miss a meal? Then why the fuck are you getting the month's worth of foodstamps?

When I began doing mental health counseling years ago, I quickly learned that you cannot judge people's pain by your own. One young lady's lack of the "right" date to the prom can cause subjectively as much distress as another's friend's suicide. But, frankly, dear readers, I am getting quite put out at those people threatening lawsuits because thier cable is still out. Crying over thier smushed SUV when their home and Saturn are still fine. Worrying that they won't be able to take thier yearly trip to Cancun because the port of departure is no longer there.

I have not sought any aid, and this is not only out of the goodness of my heart. Frankly, I don't have the patience it will take to get some of this assistance, and I don't need it. I have been incredibly fortunate, both in the damage my home sustained (roughly $8000.00 in real damage, much of which will be covered by insurance) and in my close friends, who pulled together and helped one another out, and continue to still do so.

My real reason for staying out of these "free money" lines is this:

This country is my beloved home, though those on the right would probably label my liberal ass a traitor for some of my political stances. I love this country, and Rita scared the shit out of me, because I couldn't see how we could afford to bail New Orleans and Mississippi out, and still help all of the folks who might need the same degree of aid from Rita. Thankfully, Rita wasn't the absolute disaster that she could have been, but people in the area where she hit will need much assistance. We are in deep financial trouble here in America, people, and I will be damned before I accept aid that I only minimally need and put the country that little bit more in the hole. I know my little family's "take" would come to only about $3,100.00 ($2000.00 "automatic" FEMA aid, $190.00 x 2 for food stamps, and $360.00 x2 from the Red Cross), but multiply that by the tens of thousands of us Americans who are abusing the system for that amount and you can figure out that the bill collector is going to come calling sometime and it won't be pretty--you don't have to be a genius to figure that out. Or even a "True Patriot."

If you are reading this and you are getting angry and feeling a little defensive that I'm talking about you, I probably am, and I don't want to hear about it. Shut up and Shovel.

Yet Another Hurricane Round-up

2005-09-26T06:41:00.000-05:00

I wasn't going to post this graphic of Hurricane Rita. Frankly, I found the whole discussion puerile. But that was before I discovered that the Weather Underground is tracking a Typhoon named Longwang. Now, that is comedy gold!

Hurricane Katrina, The Gathering was pretty funny to me, and no, I don't play The Gathering card game. (Via Mythago.)

The horror stories from the Superdome have been debunked. Funny how quick we are to believe this sort of thing. (Thanks for the link, Greg.)

Here's a snap of a license plate covered with the lovebugs that are still hanging around. Worst lovebug season I have ever seen.

This post is for Rhett

2005-09-25T18:35:00.000-05:00

All others may avert their eyes. . . .

Alex and Harvey

All three of the monsters

Things seem to be working out. You should come over and meet Harv sometime.

Tricky Rita

2005-09-25T10:37:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was worried about a repeat of the splooshing we had during Katrina from the edges of Rita. We did get a bit of rain, with merely a slight shower in the living room where the tarp had blown aside, but overall, things went well. I thought that we were going to be in the clear, but this morning, the weather has deteriorated some with very blustery winds and rain squalls. Supposed to rain for a day or so; I may end up having to blog from a raft or something. I hope that the straggledy trees still standing in Hattiesburg can hold on.

Speaking of cats, I have been doing a little research on the best litter, because the damn stuff is so expensive and the three boys seem to be in a contest of who can produce the most, err, aromatic poo. I say this only to direct you to a website that I found during my meanderings, that by comparison, will prove to you that I am not the crazy cat lady here. Hey, you can choose the best organic litter and the best psychic with the help of this one webpage!

Next up, I will have one of my annotated links entries. Those seem to be popular and I, for one, am tired of both cats and hurricanes.

Hattie's Blog Gives Up and Goes Completely Cute

2005-09-23T12:27:00.000-05:00

Elderly lady? Check.
Cute widdle animal? Check.
Cute widdle animal does something surprising? Check.
Lady and pet reunited? Check.

Awwww!

The only thing that concerned me about this story was this line: "The bird was turned over to a local kindergarten for safe-keeping." Have these people met any kindergarteners?

(via Fark)

P.S. I was somewhat skeptical about this story, even as I was "awww"ing, but apparently, parakeets can learn to talk. Much cuter than my neighbor John's African Grey parrots. Not only do they whistle the Andy Griffith theme (out of tune, thanks, Mark Mann), but one of them has a cell phone ring in his repertoire. Nothing more frustrating on the 5th day after a hurricane, no power, and cellphones spotty at best, to repeatedly grab for your phone and hear a parrot laughing at you.

Hattie's Blog: Proudly Feline Friendly since 2005

2005-09-22T20:30:00.000-05:00

Well, the Dr. Brenda plan for domestic harmony worked like a goddam charm, believe it or not. Kelty and Harvey are bestest enemies and Alex is finally getting some peace.

The place sounds like sweaty midget wrestlers are going at it in the next room much of the time: tiny frustrated squeals interspersed with mighty bumps and thumps. And that's just me and Scott! Ha! No, it's the boys establishing dominance, though when I go in to referee, Kelty is usually innocently holding Harvey down in order to forcibly groom him. So cute, at least if like myself, you lean to the sadistic.

Now on to the big show, Rita. I'm scared, folks. Not that Hattiesburg has to worry about any dramatic direct effects (though I wouldn't have minded a little time to get the roof fixed; I guess we need to move the furniture before the "splooshing" starts again), but can the country take another hit like this? Hattiesburgers started losing what was left of their little minds yesterday when a rumor about the town running out of gas went around. What did everyone and his sister do? Went out and waited in a gas line, causing some local stores to run out of gas.

I don't know if I can take much more pathos on TV, either. Katie Couric looking all concerned is chafing my butt. Not that that is new--don't get me started on that woman. Did I tell you guys about the interview I saw her do with the Olympic swim team? They had suits made out of some new material, and she asked the ladies if they felt fat in them. The Olympic swim team! Aaargh!

Anyway, we may all need swimsuits by the time this hurricane season is over. Here's hoping all of you guys are fairing well and Rita wimps out at the last moment.

Ok, fine. This is a !@#$ cat blog

2005-09-20T10:58:00.000-05:00

The saga of Alex Cat continues. After ten days, he's back again. This time, its clear that who ever was watching after him the last time he went walkabout did not do so this time. Sunday afternoon, I heard a meow, and Jennifer K. said, "Isn't that Alex?" I say nah, and go feed the little grey stray I see next door. I get there, and yep, it's Alex, my previously brownish big kitty, looking much the worse for wear. Much tearful reunioning, and so forth. . . .

Today, I took Alex to the vet, as he seems to have lost a great deal of weight in this last exploit. I mention to Dr. Brenda that Kelty Kitten (gotten when I thought Alex was a goner last time) is a charmer with people, but frankly, he's a bully with Alex. Won't let him eat, shit or sleep without being right in his face. Makes me kinda not like the little brat, ya know? (Flashbacks of grade school, perhaps.) Dr. Brenda (the best vet in town, by the way) tells me that the best solution is--wait for it--another kitten. One of which, for free, she happens to have right here.
No. No. No, no no no no no. No!

So, Alex and I come home with our new kitten and Scott is already home from work. I didn't even have a chance to come up with my story, other than to tell him what Dr. Brenda told me: a new kitten will be able to tolerate Kelty's harrassing energy better than a broke down million-year-old cat like Alex. Well, we're trying it, even though Jennifer K. seems to think I've been suckered, somehow. Harvey (for that's his new name) is a loaner and I can take him back in few days if it doesn't work out.

I am now one boyfriend and 3 cats away from being the Cat Lady of Dearborne Street. (Like you always predicted, Wally and Greggy.)

All Katrina, all the time

2005-09-18T11:30:00.000-05:00

I think all of us have Katrina fatigue. I get sick of hearing the word "hurricane," then I see a friend for the first time after the storm and we rehash our experiences. I am trying to move away from this being a hurricane blog (while still avoiding the dreaded "cat blog" reputation) back to a "life in Hattiesburg blog," but to be honest, pretty much everyone in Hattiesburg has had damage from this, and many of us have close friends who have lost everything. Hattiesburgers will be talking about this for the rest of our days, but I will post this round-up and get back to other topics as soon as I can. That is, if TS18 doesn't turn into Hurricane Rita in the Gulf. Our little nerves can't take much more. . . .

Here's my favorite "feel-good story" from Katrina (along with the obligatory fuck up by the people in charge): The first bus arrives in the Astrodome

Locally famous Mickles Pickles is asking for our support. And how can you not help a guy who links to his son's skater webpage? (See bottom of page.) Thank you to Greggypoo, who forwarded this on to me.

I am sure that you, too, are dreaming about the day when you can again sit on Trent Lott's Porch.

The Muscian's Atlas is a good resource for musicans out on the road, and they have a listing of charities that have been set up to help save the music of the Gulf Coast.

Damn, what country am I living in again? Real Heroes. (Try to ignore the word "sheroes" in this story. If you can. Silly socialists.)

Hey, it turns out that I sort of know the Fuck you, Mr. Cheney guy. If he's the Ben Marble I know, I went to high school with his siblings way back when. (Until they got kicked out of the Long Beach School system for living out-of-area, which was erroneuosly blamed on yours truly in a very weird turn of events. I didn't do it, Marble family. And ain't it a small fucking world.)

Here are some sites with more Hattiesburg Katrina pictures:
CCS178.com
My Hattiesburg

Finally, am I the only person who thinks "Katrina" is a dinky name for a hurricane? Don't you think that more people would have acted sooner had we called it, say, Hurricane HELLSPAWN!

Rabbi will stop oral-suction circumcisions

2005-09-17T16:12:00.000-05:00

OMG and WTF?!?

Katrina pictures

2005-09-14T14:52:00.000-05:00

DSMars's brother lost his home in Ocean Springs. Here's his blog with pictures of the devastation. My mother lives not too far from here. . . .

Here's what happened to popular Hattiesburg venue Mugshots.

Looks bad, but owner Ron Savell says that they are up and running again. Thanks for the picture, Ron.

Ross Walton (Of the South Mississippi Music Sampler) passes these Hattiesburg area pictures on:

I have a few more, but my scanner is on the fritz. If you have some shots of the Hattiesburg area, please send them on.

The struggle back to normalcy

2005-09-14T13:50:00.000-05:00

I woke up at 6 yesterday to find my yard filled with cars. I live two blocks east and about 5 blocks south of Hattiesburg High. I was like, damn, somebody must be givin' away free money at that there school. What, they are? Apparently the Red Cross was giving out $300.00 to the qualified. I have no idea what it takes to be qualified, however. I wasn't about to go stand in that line just to find out. Besides, what with 2 weeks of not being able to go anywhere to buy anything, I actually have a little more cash than I normally do this time of month, and canned food for weeks. Sure, the roof needs to be replaced, but when I look around my little town, I realize how lucky I am compared to so many others. Besides, I have heard that some of these "free money" lines are getting a little out of hand.

Speaking of standing in line, you don't want to be trying to pay your cell bill at the shop these days. The wait is as much as 3 hours due to all the folks who lost phones or who have moved into the area and are trying to get cell service here. Bert Ford tells me that he was in line this week behind a lady who was waiting to get a black Razr. She stood there the better part of 3 hours, and lost it when she was informed that they weren't even in the stores yet. She accused the sales guy of hoarding them. She then used the silver Razr she already owned to make a call. Damn, lady.

One last line story. To the young man who cut in front of everyone who had been patiently waiting as the checkout folks wrote each book down by hand at the Hattiesburg Library on Monday: karma's a bitch, my friend, and with the current state of your complexion, that Nancy Drew mystery you were checking out may be as close as you ever get to meeting an interesting woman. Ya punk ass bitch.

Whew, I gotta calm down before I go out in my yard and ~~shoot~~ yell at small children playing ball. I'm getting old.

Heard from Greggypoo today that the gift from Dr. Max was not just the requested bottle of chianti, but was, in fact, two bottles and an entire smoked salmon. We are gathering somewhere this weekend to toast Dr. Max. Hattiesburgers email me if you would like to come along.

Downtown is getting back to business as usual. (This is an excuse to post this picture):

Eastburn says "Go long!"

Finally, I am soliciting pictures from the storm damage in the Hattiesburg area. Email them to me and I'll post them here.

deadmandancing at gmail dot com

(Oh, and if you want a gmail account, just ask. I have plenty of invitiations. You can't give the damn things away.)

This is NOT a cat blog

2005-09-13T14:17:00.000-05:00

I finally got the little thingamajig that allows me to get photos from my phone and post them. I have yet to recieve the whatchamacallit that makes me a good photographer. Here is one picture of Hattiesburg storm damage:

This cemetery is near downtown on a main Hattiesburg road, Hardy Street. As you can (sort of) see, there are lots of big trees down. I will try to get a few more snaps up before too long.

And here is Kelty Kitten:

Here's a picture of Alex, who, sadly, is missing again. If you see a disgruntled black kitty in the avenues, please contact me. Meanwhile, I am hoping for another miraculous return.

I will try, try, try to not post a ton of cat pictures. Does anyone have a clue as to why there is about as much kitty porn as regular porn on the internets? Why is posting/looking at cat pictures so damn addictive?

Aftermath Afterthoughts

2005-09-12T13:13:00.000-05:00

I have been wondering about the Acadians in all of this--I think there are probably some folks who died without the government even knowing they existed down in the bayous. I did a little research and learned some things that I never knew about Cajuns.

The New England Culinary Institute is offering scholarships to food service workers and culinary/hospitality students displaced by Hurricane Katrina in the Gulf region. (Via Slashfood)

Blogging friend Dr. Max offered the readers of Hattie's Blog assistance with their emergency needs several days ago. Fortunately, though absolutely no one I know went without some damage to their homes or vehicles, most of us faired pretty well, considering. Reader and troublesome friend Greggypoo, however, ran out of wine (gasp!!) and requested a bottle of chiante, being so desperate he even included his address on the big bad web for all to see. I got a call from him today stating that Dr. Max came through for him. This is truly above and beyond, Dr. Max, and Greggy thanks you. (Of course, thousands of people need more assistance than a fermented liquid at this time, so I have included the Red Cross dog-ear at the upper right of Hattie's Blog. Please donate if you are able.)

Hattiesburg has a changed face these days. Though I and Scott are back to work (and thanks to both of our employers, who are paying us for time missed), our hours have been changed and Scott is up in Jackson this week to help with a lab up there. We went shopping yesterday and the store was filled with both evacuees and those who have come to Hattiesburg to help. The shelves were barren, forcing me to purchase expensive items that I love, but never let myself buy. The roads are filled with not only terrible FEMA drivers, but rescue vehicles and cars from just about every state in the union. It can be hard not to get a little mawkish about the support that the common person is giving the Southeast. I have teared up at least twice (and anyone will tell you that I am not a sentimental girl)--once when listening to that damn Louisiana song by Randy Newman on the Prairie Home Companion, and once when seeing an ad that was placed in the Hattiesburg American by the Mayor of New York. It said simply "New York hearts (loves) Biloxi."

One group has flourished after the storm, and I don't mean the scumbag scam artists. Love bugs are back and in an amazing number. I have never experienced them in such masses. They have flown into my eyes and mouth, they are in the bathtub and my sock drawer, they land on top of sleeping kitties (they taste so bad even bug-hunter extrordinare Kelty Kitty won't hunt them), and they are attracted to automobile exhaust so they are causing visibility and overheating problems on the road. I have even seen a menage-a-trois. If they weren't so damn busy er, "loving" each other, I have no doubt that they would take over the world.

Picture courtesy of Kudzu Monthly, who has a good article about these pests.

One Update

2005-09-09T03:09:00.000-05:00

Lynn Drury is fine in Memphis.

Hattiesburg musicians, I pass this on:

2005-09-09T01:37:00.000-05:00

If you are in a band, work with a band or know a band
or musician that can lend an afternoon or two over the
next week to a series of benefit concerts in Biloxi
and Ocean Springs, Mississippi, please get back with
us as soon as you can...

Right now members of the Two Stick Restaurant family
(Oxford, MS) are down on the Coast working with law
enforcement agents, Red Cross volunteers, firemen, and
journalists to help clean up and bring supplies to
those in need... They will be hosting these concerts
on a concrete slab across from the Hard Rock Cafe
Biloxi and the Government Street Grocery in Ocean
Springs - PA and musicians are needed...

We ask your support in their efforts to bring some
kind of aid to these people and their cause. You can
call the Dirt Road Records office for more information
and / or forward this e-mail out to anyone and
everyone you think might can help...

Thank you and God Bless,

Ben Bounds

Dirt Road Records
1764 E. Jackson Ave.
Oxford, MS 38655
662-234-3245
dirtroadrecords1@yahoo.com
www.twostick.net

You can also email me at deadmandancing at gmail.com (replace at with @ and no spaces) if you would like to participate.

Bruce's Tale

2005-09-08T17:44:00.000-05:00

I suddenly realized that I had not told you how Bruce, who is my mother's boyfriend and who was in her home in Ocean Springs, survived Katrina. Here's a recap of the story you've already heard. On Monday early am, we got a call from him stating that the water was rising in the house and both vehicles were hit by a tree. We then did not hear from him again, or indeed anything out of the Ocean Springs area, until the following Thursday. At that time, he called us from Tallahassee and it turns out that he, his daughter and her friend, had managed to get one of the cars out from under the tree and drove that sucker to Tallahassee. We were simply thrilled to hear from him--he is in his 80's and no one had been able to get in to check out the Ocean Springs area and the situation seemed dire.

Since then, I have heard that his house in Long Beach, while one of the few still standing, is a lost cause. FEMA is building a fence along the railroad, which is about three blocks from the beach, to keep people from going down there. Apparently the risk of severe illness is extreme. At any rate, this means that Bruce won't be able to get to his home to make repairs for up to 6 months, leaving it open to the elements. FEMA is telling him it will be a complete write-off. We all realize that he is still very lucky to have survived, but it is sad that what Camille didn't lick in 1969 Katrina has wiped off the map.

A little more sad news

2005-09-07T18:10:00.000-05:00

I just heard that the founder and the lead singer of the Puerto Rican Rum Drunks, Del Rendon, has died at his home in Starkville. A popular band in the Southeast, and sort of the house band at Dave's Dark Horse, the Rum Drunks were also favorites in Hattiesburg. He leaves a wife and a small child.

Can someone please send me some good news?

Same as it ever was

2005-09-07T11:59:00.000-05:00

Here's a not-so-deep insight that I've had about folks during this catastrophy. People are doing what they've always done, only more so. The generous are being grandly magnanimous; the paranoid are losing their ever-lovin' minds; the depressed are catatonic; the poor are destitute; and the government is ever more inept.

Regional Musicians

2005-09-06T23:14:00.000-05:00

Here are some updates on some folks who have played Hattiesburg and were in the path of the storm:

Mike West and family are safe, as are The Redstick Ramblers and Jeff and Vida. Lynn Drury has still not been heard from, so please contact Chris Brownsberger if you have heard from her.

The great folks of MadHappy have offered their place in Pensacola if you are needing a place to stay. Email me if you need that help.

Also, trying to update the Dead Man Dancing music calendar. I'm sure there are lots of changes. Email me so I can get a corrected calendar up.

Now we're cooking with gas

2005-09-06T20:51:00.000-05:00

No, actually, now I'm cooking with electricity at long last. Got power on about 5 hours ago and I have been overdosing on the news.

This post is going to be just a series of anecdotes of my experience of Katrina, no terrible stories, if you don't mind. I'm sure you're exhausted from the endless horribleness at this point, anyway.

While in the hall, I played a game called "What was that noise?," though Scott called it "How much did that noise cost us?" There were various clunks, bangs and splooshes. There were a few scary moments when the house shook on its little brick posts and I made Scott go and get a mattress in case we started losing the roof. Scott and Kelty Kitten managed to get some sleep, but I was vibrating from anxiety. It was a relief to finally emerge to a home that was still mostly complete.

So, the very first thing I did after the storm passed was to fall down my back steps. AGAIN. More of a squeal than an oof this time, I'm told. I tossed those particular shoes. As soon as I took them off, I got glass in my foot from a light fixture that broke from being hit by ceiling tiles. Scott did minor surgery, so that's ok.

My wonderful new Razr phone's battery gave up the ghost about a day and a half into the aftermath, while Scott's old-school phone lasted 5 days. Not that we could really call anyone consistently, anyway. I got very pissed off at my service provider, Cingular, and I am writing them a nasty letter tomorrow--on Thursday, they sent out a mass text message. Not saying "We hope you are ok and we are working to restore everyone's service as soon as possible." No, the message that everyone got, when batteries were dying, when getting through with emergency messages was of great importance, was a come-on for getting international calling on your service plan. Fuck you, too, Cingular.

Yesterday, Jennifer C. and I were trying to get gas, etc., and we got rear-ended by a lady. Wouldn't you know it, the first FEMA person anyone I know has seen in Hattiesburg slammed into us. She didn't want us to call the cops, but I did anyway. (They got there in an impressive 90 seconds.) Here are some of the priceless statements out of her mouth. "We FEMA people have lots of accidents!" and when asked to state in her words what happened, "I simply don't know. Can I just say that?" She also said that there will be "Hundreds of thousands" of dead. And that there was no way she was going to the Coast or New Orleans out of fear of getting sick. Crazy FEMA bitch.

Last night, Scott scared some would-be looters away from a motorcycle shop a near the house by menacing them, not with one of the many guns we have in the house right now, but with his cell phone. So, I guess Cingular is good for something.

Jennifer C. and I are planning on going to the Coast tomorrow to help at shelters providing mental health services. I have a Masters in Counseling, and though I have been out of the field for several years, I hope I can help in some way.

Here are a few kudos--Kicker 108, a country station off the Coast, stayed up almost the whole time and gave very important information, even while one of their on-air folks had lost everything but the clothes on his back. (The link above is dead right now, but I expect that it will be back up shortly.) The Hattiesburg American put out an issue every day during this past week, even Tuesday. Much thanks to Jennifer K. and Deadpan Ann for guest blogging, and thank you, thank you, thank you to Jennifer K. for the new T-shirts and and underwear. The Hattiesburg community has been great with just a few exceptions. We have gotten our town back up and running with little immediate outside help. I also got in touch with a lot of old friends, with emails from California to Sweden.

I will soon have pictures to post and hopefully a few videos.

There are lots of places out there to read Katrina news, but here are a few interesting posts from the Boing Boing archives. Finally, please be generous and careful of scams when giving to victims of Katrina. Lots of people out there need our help.

I'm OK and thanks for all the support

2005-09-05T14:53:00.000-05:00

Just a very quick note, I am blogging this from College Hall on the University of Southern Miss's campus, thanks to David Tisdale, a neighbor and good friend.

The house sustained roof damage and we are still without power. However, I realize that I am incredibly lucky. I of course have seen no coverage from the Coast and New Orleans, but I am hearing horrific tales. I am simply without words to express my sorrow about my old Hometown, Long Beach, and the wonderful town of New Orleans, where I spent many nights having more fun than should lawfully be allowed.

We have had a few frightening events in the 'Burg. It is scary hgow quickly people degenerated into their most basic selves. We had two fatal shootings shortly after the storm, and a friend was menaced with a rifle in a gas line on Saturday.

I want to take just a moment to thank my Jennifers, Jennifer C., whose birthday I forgot in all of this, and who still brought me much needed supplies, from water and cold beer to feminine hygene products. And also to Jennifer K., my intrepid girl reporter, many thanks for keeping people up-to-date on my safety.

The Hattie's Blog was picked up by Knight-Ridder and was mentioned in some newspapers, so that was neat, although I rather it had been for my sparkling wit and not the worst disaster in America's history.

Power should be on in the next week where I am and I will be back again at that time. I hope that the blog has helped some folks find out the info that they needed through comments, and thank you for keeping me and Hattiesburg in your thoughts.

BRUCE PHONES HOME

2005-09-02T22:41:00.000-05:00

I spoke with TC a few hours ago and she says that Bruce called her from Tallahassee, Florida. No IDEA what so ever as to the back story on how he got there or how the house was. She says she just handed over the number that would get him in touch with her mom!

TC wishes me to sing the praises of our other friend Jen, whose birthday she forgot. Jen has been very good to them and has gone above and beyond the bonds of just plain friendship. Thanks Jen C. for everything!

I've handed over my proxy duties to Deadpanann, who I know has her own blog to deal with, but she's just so darned good at it.

Still No Word From Bruce

2005-09-02T12:49:00.000-05:00

I spoke with TC again this morning and she reports that they still have not heard from Bruce. She asks that if anyone has been on the coast and has any information on the status of Bruce Cornell, please let us know here on this site, or email deadpanann@gmail.com and I will get the info to his family asap.

Update out of the burg

2005-09-02T00:28:00.000-05:00

Deadpanann here, in for TC, who is still without power due to Katrina.

Today things finally started to improve in Hattiesburg, from what I'm told. Cell phones are working sporadically. People can dial out, but when we dial in all we can do is leave voicemail. The same thing seems to be happening with my phone, which is based in Hattiesburg, so I guess the towers are overwhelmed. Text messaging is working consistently now, so the best thing to do is to text them and tell them to call you. Land lines are starting to get up and running again, slowly.

TC was able to dial out and reach me on her cell phone, and she asked me to update the blog and say a few things. I heard from two other Hattiesburgers as well. They all report that today was the first day they got running water in some parts of town, so that's a major improvement. Also, the situation in Petal is not as dire as the radio reports indicated. TC and her man Scott were kind enough to drive out there to my boyfriend's house to check on him, just to make me feel better--despite the fact that it was about 15 miles round trip and people are prepared to kill for gas. Now that's what I call a friend.

As you read earlier, TC's mother rode out the storm with them in Hattiesburg, and the trio spent many cozy hours together in the hallway. The latest on that is that Mom has left the building. From what I remember of the very rushed phone conversation I had with TC today, her mother went to stay with another relative who had more space or something. Too much coziness, perhaps? Well, according to TC her mother's boyfriend Bruce decided to stay on the coast during the storm. He called them late Monday to say that the water was rising and he didn't know what to do. They have not heard from him since then and aren't sure what happened. Bruce is an older fellow--in his 80's--but even if he were a spring chicken there would be cause for concern. TC and her mother are extremely worried, obviously. Please keep them in your thoughts/prayers while they wait for good news on Bruce.

I'm not very coherent right now but I will do my best to provide updates as they come out of the burg.

Just How Long Can Three People and Three Cats Survive in a Hallway?

2005-08-29T11:25:00.000-05:00

This is the question I'm currently asking about TC who is hunkering down as we speak. She's there with her moother, Scott, and three cats. I've talked to another friend in Hattiesburg who is also in the hallway with her husband and their animals. I've been doing a little digging to try and give you something about New Orleans. Truth be told, there's not a whole lot. There are some folks still blogging or trying to blog. Like I said, I'm not as internet savvy as TC, so just use the links in previous posts for blogs that may be coming out of New Orleans. There is basically NO electricity and the water is on the rise.

As for the weather where I am, its blustery and raining. We may see more wind than we earlier expected, but I think on the whole this is the best place we can be. I'm trying to stay in contact with TC about every hour so I can know what is happening. If there is anyone out there in the Ocean Springs area that can give me some information it would be greatly appreicated.

Hattiesburgers Nervous As Storm Rolls In

2005-08-29T10:28:00.000-05:00

I've just spoken with TC who is now in her second hour with no power. It appears that most of Hattiesburg is now without electricity. She's also reported that her mother's house on the coast in Long Beach is beginning to flood and a tree has fallen on cars in the driveway. Local weather stations are saying now that Hattiesburg will get the ever-spooky eye wall with up to 100 mph winds.

I would like to say "wow, wasn't I smart to haul ass outta there", but most of that credit goes to my mother for being incredibly weather savvy and well, motherly-aka "get in the car and leaveNOW." When asked by one person how old I was in reference to my mother's mothering I replied that I was old enough to know that when momma yells, it's time to listen. I must admit to being somewhat jealous at first. I mean, I was going to miss all of the "excitement". But, after realizing that most of my friends back home were sweating to death in their hallways, I got over it quickly.

For those of you who want to know what's going on in New Orleans, I don't know a whole lot, but do know that most of the electricty gone and with no electricty to run the pumps, the bathtub, so to speak is filling up. There are reports of water coming into the first floor windows of two of the major hospitals. North of New Orleans in places like Hammond, this is where my brother and his family reside, there was some severe damage. Here in Natchez, the wind is starting to pick up as we get a few of the outer bands.

More news from TC and the gang as it comes in.

Proxy Bloggin'

2005-08-29T09:17:00.000-05:00

Okay, so this is Jennifer and I'm in Natchez, Mississippi. We are getting some wind and minor rain here, but other than that not too much activity. Well, if you don't count the numerous times we've eaten. Anyway, back to the hurricane and TC, who is on the phone with me now. In true TC fashion, she's even managed to turn even my blogging experience into a cat blog. Turns out the Keltie kitten dashed out of the door and spent a few action packed minutes under the car. TC reports that she's lost power due to her favorite neighbor's large oak tree giving up the ghost and landing on some power lines.

According to the news station here, which is out of Jackson, Hattiesburg is going to be getting some tough winds pretty soon. I'll try to do the best I can to keep you informed, though I'm not as witty nor as internet savvy as TC.

Hattie's Blog

2005-08-29T08:11:00.000-05:00

I'm out, guys. Something big just fell on the house. Next up, Jennifer will be taking over.

Hattie's Blog

2005-08-29T08:03:00.000-05:00

For "real" news, head on over to The Irish Trojan. I am covering my little corner of the world, but he has up-to-date info on New Orleans and parts afield.

We are about to have to head to the hallway, I think. Pretty serious gusts and we should be under tornado warning and not just a watch here in a few.

As you can see above, something funky is happening with my logo up there. Sorry, but it can't be helped.

Out my front door

2005-08-29T07:42:00.000-05:00

Lots of crazy wind here in Hattiesburg. Small branches down. Very light rain. Though New Orleans may not be getting the smackdown that was expected, it is worse here this morning than I expected. I sort of thoughtwe would be at this level of bluster more towards noon.

Most of the weather-related sites I have been using all night are inaccessable to me at the moment, so send me what you're hearing.

Thanks to Dr. Max for the shout out over at That One Blog, the only parody blog I frequent.

Power issues

2005-08-29T07:35:00.000-05:00

The power is flickering and I may have to sign off here in a bit. I will, however, be dictating entries to Reporter Girl Jennifer via cell as long as the cells are working and she has power. She's in Natchez, so she may not ever lose power.

I am on as long as I am able. Let me know what things are like where you are and stay safe.

Could New Orleans be so lucky?

2005-08-29T07:07:00.000-05:00

It is a dismal windy and wet morning in Hattiesburg with winds sustained in the 20 mph range, but I am a (so far) happy person this morning. Katrina made original landfall East of New Orleans about 30 minutes ago and as of right now, there is appears they even still have power on in parts of New Orleans, though I read at The Irish Trojan that the Superdome has reportedly lost power.

The conspiracy theorists are already weighing in on what happened to Katrina. I am unable to access the Weather Underground at the moment, but last night a guy said that he thinks that the government did something to take the starch our of her. I shot back at him that they sure took their sweet time about it and just because we don't understand what happened doesn't make it a government plot and then I invoked Occam's Razor, which I thought was pretty damn smart of me in the state I was in, and I even spelled it correctly. Whew!

Pardon my slight hysteria--a little sleep with a dollop of THANK GOD.

Hearing some good news

2005-08-29T03:29:00.000-05:00

At about 3:30 am, it seems that Katrina may be collapsing. Still a dangerous storm, but perhaps not the city-destroyer we had been dreading. I am feeling an incredible sense of relief, especially for old New Orleans. Here's hoping that what I am hearing is accurate.

Another Bourbon Street Cam

2005-08-29T01:33:00.000-05:00

Visit this one quick before we lose it. It's the one labled "Quarter Cam." (Duh) Many of the other links are working on that page, as well. Bead cam is an overhead looking down on Bourbon, presumably. Never seen it looking so clean.

Thanks to poster Remek @ Weather Underground

Also, the ever-impressive Irish Trojan has posted this fantastic picture he got from the New York Times of New Orleans last night. I hope he forgives the blatant stealing, this is a wonderful pic.

Small sacrifices

2005-08-29T00:37:00.000-05:00

The S.O., Scott, is already eating through our no-refrigeration/no-cook supplies. How about a nice frozen pizza? I suggest. Eat a damn frozen burrito, I say. Nope--he's munching on the granola bars. But I can't get too mad. He wanted to go as far away as possible yesterday and I told him it would be without me, so he stayed despite a healthy fear for his life. And he's putting up with my mother, who in addition to mowing our lawn this afternoon, has been cleaning non-stop.

Looking at the latest radar, Hattiesburg is about to start catching the Katrina's first edge. And did I take a nap like I said I would? Hell, no. I can't make my eyes even blink, much less nap. My night-owl habits plus a dose of panic has made sleep seem a distant possibility. I expect to start slurring my typing any minute.

In the words of my mother, the fish force-feeder, "If get weird, tell."

Kind Referrers to Hattie's Blog

2005-08-29T00:23:00.000-05:00

These guys are kind enough to link to me for Katrina Blogging and they all have links to other K bloggers.

Newsome.org

Arts Journal

Sledgeblog

Kokonut Pundits

Subterranean Homepage News

Cadenhead's Workbench

I also wanted to repost a really good, up-to-the-minute K blog, The Irish Trojan

Accident on I-10?

2005-08-29T00:18:00.000-05:00

Word is that there has been a multi-car pile-up on I-10, with 15,000 car stacked behind it. Not surprising, but still horrifying. I'll post more as I hear it.

UPDATE: I'm now hearing that this may have been a false report. I hope so.

Happy Birthday, Jennifer C.!!

2005-08-28T23:34:00.000-05:00

With all of this craziness, I totally forgot that today was my dear friend Jennifer C.'s birthday! I am so sorry, and I love you.

I feel like shit. Blogosphere, got any ideas how I can make it up to her?

Here's to you, Jennifer!
(Yeah, I know. All my friends are named Jennifer.)

No longer a blow-by-blow of Katrina,

2005-08-28T22:37:00.000-05:00

But more of a diary of the delirious. . . .

Everyone but me is now in bed. I am such a night person.

We have an aquarium that has just been broken in, and it is fairly certain we are going to lose our fish in the heat to come. My mother lost her broken down old goldfish, Hannibal, the last time she evacuated--she went to visit family and got stuck there for longer than expected. She thought Hannibal, who already had only one fin, would be dead by the time she made it back, but he hung in there long enough for her to try to nurse him back. He wouldn't eat, so she tried to force-feed him. If you knew my mother, this would not surprise you in the least, but her telling me this made me laugh until coke snorted out of my nose. The drinkable kind, despite what this rambling post may indicate.

Man, I gotta go lie down. Back in a few.

Hi to new visitors.

2005-08-28T21:45:00.000-05:00

I am beginning to think I am posting too often. I am sleep deprived and still sort of jazzed from the little adrenaline shot I got from the "oofing" I told you about in the last post. Let me know if I am beginning to wear on you.

I did want to thank the many folks who are linking to Hattie's Blog and welcome any new visitors. I encourage you to dig a little deeper into the blog, it's not all about Katrina and I think I occasionally produce the funny in my posts.

Well, about DAMN TIME. I just read that the last bar still open in New Orleans has closed. (Scan down the page a bit for the story.) Aside from seeming to indicate the End Times, perhaps this means those fools will pack it in and give themselves a fighting chance on some higher ground.

Here's the latest missive from Jennifer, Girl Reporter, live from Natchez:

I've got to be the most boring roving reporter ever. As of now, I've
had nothing to report except tasty stew, traveling laundry and in a
recent development Bluebell ice cream and sugar cookies. Apparently
I've evacuated not to higher ground but to a more tasty climate. I
hope all is well in Hattiesburg. It looks pretty green on the radar.
Hope you are not sitting in the hallway just yet.

this just in--the rumble on the street is that we're having bacon and
biscuits for breakfast!

Things calm in the 'Burg

2005-08-28T21:00:00.000-05:00

Except for dumbass me, who went out on the back porch and proceeded to slip and fall on the steps, which were surprisingly slick. After the "Oof," and checking to make sure my butt, right wrist and jaw were ok, I had a terrible image of spending the rest of the night in the ER for a broken arm. I'm ok, and I am happy to report that the weather, at least as viewed from the bottom of my back steps, is currently calm.

We're under a tornado watch until 2. I assume that this will be extended.

The Wolf River at the Coast is already at the highest flood stage ever recorded and it is not even really raining. I am no expert but I believe this is due to the water that Katrina is pushing before her.

I just thought of hearing sometime last week about sexual offenders not being allowed in shelters in Florida. Pretty rough. Comments?

Various ramblings

2005-08-28T19:38:00.000-05:00

Here are some graphs of the level of Lake Pontchartrain. I can't claim to be able to read them with any expertise, so my professional opinion is Oh Shit.

Camille was the old boogy-monster they used to threaten bad little Southern Mississippi boys and girls when I was a bad little Southern Mississippi girl. Camille trashed the Coast then went on to kill folks along the Mason-Dixon line, then went back out into the Atlantic to reform as a tropical storm. Pretty damn impressive.

I've been terrorizing myself with the Weather Underground's blogs on Katrina. There's a recent update wherein weather guru Jeff Masters tells us that Katrina is worse than Camille.

Please, if you are already freaked out, don't bother with these links. In fact, stop reading this blog if it's wigging you. Just keep watching local coverage and get as prepared as you can. There is no need to make yourself crazy over this.

If you're alone and you need to speak to someone, email me and I'll give you a call or try to get you some help if you need it.

News from Natchez

2005-08-28T18:21:00.000-05:00

Verbatim from Jen:

as for the roving reporting--im doing the best i can--but no wind no
rain as of yet, but it looks as if my brother and his family who are
on their way to Alexandria are going to be sitting in traffic for a
while . IN other news cousin Paula is fixing a very tasty smelling
stew and cornbread for supper and I'm going to wash my laundry in a
few. Put natchez down as yet another stop on my laundry's list of
places its gotten washed!

And if you are out there in the weather, too, feel free to comment about your experiences.

Here's a link to several other Katrina bloggers, several in New Orleans, brave, foolhardy souls. Thanks to Mike McConnell for the linkage.

The Webcam in New Orleans still functioning. Will you just look at those idiots.

Jennifer, our Natchez connection

2005-08-28T18:07:00.000-05:00

Jennifer reports this:

okay, news from natchez--rain and wind has stopped and we've been moved outta the cone/
still saying 50-60 mph winds here--traffic is super bad.

Well, that's boring! No, I'm glad. Jennifer is one of my friends with some sense. Many of my guys seem to have been caught completely off guard, and I can only hope they are getting prepared, finally.

Currently in Hattiesburg, lots of very ominous thunder that seems to go on forever. Creepy.

We're filling the bath tub (which always seems like boiling water at a birth to me. It seems more like something to do, rather than a truly useful action), and my S.O., Scott, is coming up with some Byzantine method of rigging some doors closed. I dunno, I'm just reporting it.

I'm also smoking like a flapper and I'm high on lack of sleep, so as the weather degenerates so may my blogging. I hope I live to be embarrassed my writing skilz.

Notes to friends, again

2005-08-28T18:05:00.000-05:00

Rhett: Alex has entered the building, Alex has entered the building!

Greggy, you didn't say if you are in an ok situation. Any doggies?

What a difference a minute and a half makes

2005-08-28T17:47:00.000-05:00

Well, it is spitting rain at times, pouring at others, and pretty windy. Dark as about 7:30 usually is this time of year. I'm glad we are ready to sit it out without heading outdoors for last-minute items.

I simply can't imagine how it would have been, before all the technology we have, to be unaware that such a storm was on its way. It was a beautiful day most of Sunday with no obvious clues of the extreme weather to come.

I have my bandanna and a flashlight on my belt-loop, so I feel fashionably ready.

Hattie's Hallway Hunkering

2005-08-28T17:09:00.000-05:00

My house is a clapboard number dating from 1935 near downtown Hattiesburg. It is built off the ground on little brick stilts. You will not hear me say as I've heard from so many others, "I'll be fine, this house has stood right here near-abouts 100 years," because a storm like this does not hit Hattiesburg once in a century. This house has never experienced what I expect we're going to get.

Having said that, I do think that we will be ok, though the house may take a hit. There's a little square hallway that has no windows and is central to the house. It shares each wall with an inner wall to another room. The plan is to get myself, my boyfriend and my mother into the hall and line it with mattresses and pillows. The hall is about 8x8. (I'm glad I'll be with folks I like.) I also have a fall-back plan which I cannot reveal at this time as it may be frowned upon by some powers-that-be.

It is very blustery now, though no rain yet. We're under a tornado watch until 2 am. I am trying to see if Kelty-kitten is acting strangely, but shit, how can you tell? The damn animal is a walking (running, leaping, cavorting) ball of strange.

I have a roving reporter in Natchez who will be updating me on the situation there. Should be interesting--she and her extended family, including her cat, just showed up at a relative's house unannounced. An allergic-to-cats relative. (Hey, I'll turn this into a cat blog yet.)

Jennifer, my intrepid girl-reporter, says that Natchez is nuts. The Walmart is wall-to-wall hysterics from out of town. She says it is raining a bit there. More as she reports in.

Later, Taters.

Some notes to friends

2005-08-28T16:58:00.000-05:00

Hey, Rhett--wanna let you know that Alex is roaming the neigborhood, but we're gonna trap him as soon as he comes for food. I wish I had been thinking, I'd have scored some kitty valium for him as I know he's likely to holler all night. We have Kelty and Daisy here, as well. It's going to be a 3 cat night. . . .

Greggypoo, you set up ok? I've thought about you a lot today. Remember that hurricane you, I, Rhett and Red rode out together? She had those two huge dogs and we had all finally settled down to sleep when we hear your tiny, panicked voice. "He's tasting me!" you said, referring to one of the puppies. We laughed about that for, oh, hell, years now.

MS Gulf Coast Web Cam and some other Katrina Bloggers

2005-08-28T16:26:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure which city, but this webcam is somewhere on the Mississippi Coast.

Kaye Trammell is in Baton Rouge and is blogging Katrina from there. Interesting stuff.

Rodgers Cadenhead has a list of other Katrina blogs and was kind enough to list the old Hattie's Blog on his Workbench Blog.

Know of any others? Please drop a comment, especially if you have a webcam link.

So, what ARE people thinking?

2005-08-28T15:55:00.000-05:00

Just got back from the workplace--they have come to their senses and are trying to batten down the building. All to no avail, I suspect. We just picked up the CPUs and covered everything with thin plastic. This on the 3rd floor. Well, at least they did something, pointless as it was.

Meanwhile, there is a Part-tay going on in the Big Easy. Here's a story about folk's attitudes down there. My favorite quote? "Down the street [Bourbon Street!!], psychic Jackie Wilson waited for customers at a card table, advertising "Free sample readings." What's the opposite of psychic? You know--can't see the things that the average guy can. I feel badly for folks who simply cannot leave and tourists who are stuck there, but my God, people. I have heard newscasters stating there may be more than 10,000 people dead in New Orleans by the end of this.

Here in Hattiesburg, it is becoming cloudy and blustery. I have seen no birds or squirrels all day, and typically we are overrun with the critters.

I'm going to try to nap for a time and hope to wake up to a new, better reality.

2005-08-28T12:15:00.000-05:00

So, my over-60 mother is mowing my yard. Hey, she needed something to do! I didn't want to tell her that if she waited a bit, Katrina would mow it for her.

Here's a good blog for non-stop Katrina reporting.

Just called my boss to volunteer to help if he knows of some folks needing it, now or after, if I am able. He says that he's going in to work as usual tomorrow. We do not work in critical area. Ok, Dude. Whatever. Don't expect to see me there.

What are people thinking?

Bourbon Street webcam

2005-08-28T11:17:00.000-05:00

Here's a webcam from Bourbon Street. I feel bad for those little fellows that are scurrying around.

Back from the foraging

2005-08-28T09:19:00.000-05:00

Decided to forego the WalMart in favor of the local little Sunflower, thanks to the S.O., which was a good idea. There was still water there, though probably all gone now. Walgreens still has some, though, if you hurry.

The mood is fairly calm in town. Light traffic and only a little more action at the Sunflower than usual. These folks who were there, were pretty relaxed, but getting more appropriate items than last time.

I am hearing from people that Hattiesburgers are completely unprepared, expecting to be at work on Monday as usual. This is simply not going to happen, and if you have not gotten ready and you are still reading this (Hi, Darren! I'm not talking about you!), get off the damn computer and get out of town or prepare to hunker down. I cannot stress this enough.

On the Coast, if you are not following the mandatory evacuations, they are coming around and making you sign a waiver stating your vital stats and that the city can dispose of your body. There's already some flooding. Katrina ain't playing.

Good luck and I'll update, hopefully without ever-increasing hysteria, as time goes on.

Serious Situation

2005-08-28T07:18:00.000-05:00

Woke up this morning to the worst possible news. Not only is Katrina a Cat 5 hurricane, but it is barrelling towards New Orleans and is then due to slam thru mid-Mississippi. This is going to be the storm that eclipses Camille, a long-time dirty word in parts hereabout.

The local channel, WDAM, is showing an infomercial currently and I am very afraid that folks are simply not taking this thing seriously here. I think the Coast folks may have woken up this a.m. when Jim Cantore recommended this course of action: Go outside, take a look at the Mississippi Coast and remember what you see, because Tuesday it will be gone. Then get the hell out. He's leaving before too long.

About to go to the store to see if I can buy anything that might help in the coming days. Hopefully the one upside of Hattiesburg being clueless is that there are still some things on the shelves.

I know this blog is not reaching thousands (or even hundreds. . . .tens?) but if you do read this today and you are in my area, please start your preparations and stay safe.

2005-08-27T20:50:00.000-05:00

Katrina is shaping up to be a "worst case" kinda storm--massive, on its way to become a Cat 4 and maybe 5, and targeting New Orleans and parts east. Hattiesburg is known as the Hub City-it's within 100 miles of the state capitol, Jackson; the Mississippi Gulf Coast; Mobile, AL; and New Orleans. Unless there is a major change in Katrina predictions, Hattiesburg is going to get some serious weather out of her.

As suits the gravity of this, folks in Hattiesburg are reacting much as I expected from our honorable citizenry. They are renting movies and get blank looks when you mention the storm. Those who at least know about the storm aren't preparing, here or on the Coast. (Of course, I have yet to make it to Wal-Mart, myself.) My friend Jennifer believes that people would be evacuating if gas prices weren't ridiculous, and of course, she's probably right. But you ain't seen nothing yet--Katrina promises to bring $3/gal gas in the next few weeks.

My mother did just arrive from Ocean Springs, a cute little town on the Coast fairly close to the Alabama border. She lives near the beach and seems to be taking this one pretty seriously. (That's saying a lot. When I was a child, she was somehow convinced that a tornado couldn't occur if it was raining. Not a real weather-hound, my mother.)

Heading to bed and I'll let you know tomorrow am if folks are finally getting the picture that Katrina may be more than just a little wind.

Mr. Hurricane Magnet Himself

2005-08-27T10:51:00.000-05:00

is on the Mississippi Gulf Coast this morning, which does not bode well for the Coast. . . .

If you want to listen to a bunch of weather know-it-alls, skip on over to the Weather Underground's Katrina blog. Interesting, if a little fear-mongering.

I am posting the Gas Buddy link again for those of you who need to gas up your vehicles in preparation. Looks like the cheapest gas in town in Hwy 49 North at the Raceway and Pure--1.46/gal.

Oh, and here's a fun fact for New Orleaners (what is the word for a person from New Orleans? And no, "a drunk" is not the answer): The coroner's office keeps 10,000 body bags on hand in the event a major hurricanes hits them straight on. Most of the weather gurus I'm hearing are advising that folks in N.O. leave now, rather than waiting for an evacuation order.

Here's a site where you can view the traffic streaming out of New Orleans in real-time. Looks like folks are heading out. Good decision, because here's a map of the damage flooding from a hurricane like Katrina could cause to the New Orleans area. Warning: HUGE graphic.

Finally, here's the Biloxi webcam. Pretty boring now, but it may be a little more interesting later.

Hurricane blogging

2005-08-27T06:22:00.000-05:00

I was going to call this post, originally enough, "Katrina and the Waves," but a quick straw poll indicates that most of you would have no idea what the hell I was talking about. (The rest of you would think that it was just lame.)

Several days ago, the S.O. said, "Hey, ya know, we ought to get prepared in case there's another hurricane," so we went out and bought plywood, massive amounts of water, batteries, and spam. Ha! No, actually, we sat here and said, "Yeah, that's a good idea!" and "What's on tv?" So, having depleted all of our supplies except three cans of tuna from the last go 'round, I suppose it's about time to head back to the Sunflower.

By popular demand (hey, one girl asked if I was going to!), I will again be blogging my hurricane exploits for your enjoyment. Currently, they are looking at a Mississippi/Louisiana landfall on Monday and there's already a state of emergency in Lousiana, so I'm thinking that the hotels in Hattiesburg are already booked.

I am concerned that this will be a major event; if it's not, the worry always is that hurricane newbies will get jaded and underestimate "the big one" when it occurs. Meanwhile, of course, there is that sick pleasure one gets when something like this happens. Few people will admit it, but we get off on it. One year on the coast, one of the channels got a new news guy during hurricane season, and he had a pretty eventful first new weeks. After that, it was the typical "hot and wet" for several months, and you could see it wearing on him. He'd make forecasts that were like, "It's hot and wet today, but tomorrow, ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN!" He didn't last long.

At any rate, stay tuned here to get the latest on how Katrina is affecting me, because after all, me is what it's all about.

Housekeeping

2005-08-27T05:24:00.000-05:00

Just a couple of quick comments about minor Hattie's Blog changes:

If you want, you can sign up for email when I put up a new post. Just go over there to the lower right and put in your email address. I won't sell it, send you spam, blah, blah, blah.

Also, when you comment, you now have to enter the word you see in squiggly little letters on the comments form. This is to stop comment spam, which appears to be becoming a problem for Hattie's Blog. I hope this doesn't frustrate you too badly, ya big baby.

One Million Moms can't be wrong

2005-08-25T00:09:00.000-05:00

My S.O. thinks this site's a joke, or it's a viral ad thing.

Of course not. These folks are just sillily angry enough to believe they are fighting the good fight. . . . Against the word "sucks."

***Here's the great suckfreetv.com link, in case you did not follow the above link. I may not have ever seen these "sucky" ads had it not been for One Million Moms. Thanks, O.M.M!***

Are you a daddy? Or are you a kid? You can help.

Spotlighting spiders

2005-08-18T13:23:00.000-05:00

I have noticed an interesting thing: many "chick bloggers" seem to be big fans of spiders. Huh. I don't know what that means, but count me among them.

I am one of the "used to hate 'em, now I am fascinated by 'em" school. I have had many experiences with spiders; they seem particularly attracted to me. I once was almost asleep when I felt a gentle thump on my head. I thought to myself, "Self, you can go ape-shit crazy and jump up screaming and perhaps get bitten by what ever that was, or you can calmly turn on the light and check it out." I managed to remain calm, and sure enough, a spider had fallen from the ceiling and into my hair. I wonder if he thought to himself, "Self, you can go spider-shit crazy and perhaps get smushed by whatever tangly thing you have landed in, or you can remain calm and try to sneak off ignominiously."

Did you know that the common garden spider doesn't like being poked with a stick and will jump up and down, shaking the web madly, when this is done? (Bad blogger!) Or that that cute little jumping spider can see pretty well and seems interested in humans? I had a jumping spider fall in love with me on my back porch one summer day--he wouldn't leave me alone, and each time I brushed him off my leg and down the steps, he made the arduous trip all the way back up to crawl on me again. Finally, I let him go to see what he would do. When I could no longer see him, I went and looked in the mirror, and he was perched on top of my head.

Jumping Spider courtesy of Salticidae.org

There are spiders who can catch fish, spiders who can change color, and spiders who can spit poisonous silk the huge distance of 10 millimeters. Spider silk is stronger than steel, spider web filaments were used in gun sights as the 'cross hairs' until the early 1960's, and the theory is that no one on earth is ever more than 3 feet away from some spider. Yep, spiders are pretty neat, and the ones you run across in you day-to-day lives are generally not poisonous to you. And if you are certain every fast little guy running over your carpet is a brown recluse, I suggest that you look up the word recluse, as it doesn't mean what you think it does.

So, with all of this in mind, let me suggest an interesting nighttime activity--wolf spider spotlighting. All you need is a flashlight, a mowed back yard, and girded loins. Wolf spiders are nighttime hunters and have reflective eyes, much like a cat's. Go to the edge of the yard and hold the flashlight next to your head right above your ear. You will then see the reflection of the spider's eyes as they prowl around for food. When I and several of my friends did this some years ago, it was amazing. We were in a fairly-sized back yard and there were literally dozens of wolf spiders. They ignored us, and you could walk right up on them and check out what they had caught. I had no idea what a jungle the suburban backyard really is.

Wolf Spider courtesy of Learners Online

Insomniac Links

2005-08-18T04:32:00.000-05:00

I am very much a night-owl and I have been since I was a very small girl. Perhaps it is because I have always been afraid of missing something. On one of my birthdays, my sixth or seventh, I think, I told my father that I wanted to stay up all night for my birthday present. He obliged and we spent part of that night in a nearby wilderness area checking out all of the night-time critters. I made it all night and was awake to see the sun rise, while poor Dad was snoring on the couch by 4 am. That birthday remains one of my fondest memories.

Here are a few links for you other night-owls who enjoy roaming the internet late at night:

Levitated. Lots of play-pretties here. Just sort of bumble around for a while and enjoy the interactive elegance.

I first saw this David and Goliath sticker on the mirror in the lady's at local venue The Thirsty Hippo. Like that sticker, the Throw Rocks at Boys game from the D&G guys is sweetly simple and sinister.

Speaking of sweet and sinister, I again have proved what an evil ditz I am by laughing far too hard at this little game.

Battleship by DuctTape Fashion. For all of those who remember fondly the "You sank my battleship!" kid.

Here are a few word games for you late night linguaphiles:

Word Association This is mildly entertaining for a time. Anyone want to explain why my response to the word "roads" was "grunge"? Oh, because it's 4 am.

WordSpy. Has a nice interface and music, but after a couple of dozen plays, some limitations (both of the game and myself) became obvious.

It's Boggle! On the web! It's Weboggle! These guys were tough. Even with 2 friends helping/cheating, we never even broke the top 8.

And my new favorite, Define Time. How many words can you define correctly in two minutes? My personal best was a score of 570, but I am getting a little delirious.

Whew. Well, now I'm worn out and it is finally time for bed. Tomorrow (later today) I will put up a few links to some sites that are not just time wasters and post an idea for a fun night out for you and your less-than-squeamish pals.

Phone Update

2005-08-17T07:32:00.000-05:00

I almost got a picture of a huge honking spider for you guys on the Razr last night, but between looking for the phone and dodging the spider as well as my kitten, who was coincidentally chasing a "palmetto bug," (which is polite Southern-ese for huge honking wood roach) right under my feet, I managed to miss the shot. But as it is Wild Kingdom here at the house, I am sure I'll get another chance.

Meanwhile, here is a picture from the web of what my spider, most likely a cellar spider, looked like:

Courtesy of the University of Kentucky Department of Entomology website

Well, the Razr is just a phone, you know. It is a conversation piece, but it hasn't made the people on the other end that much more interesting to talk to. It was a mini-saga to get it up and running. When the first phone got here (ordered it off the internet), they had left the batteryplate out of the box. A phone call later and we had a new phone on its way. That's right, instead of shipping a .02 oz batteryplate, they shipped me a whole new phone and we had to ship the first one back. This boggles my mind, but so did the light-up keypad feature, so perhaps I am easily boggled. Apparently, the cool blue backlighting of the keypad is controlled by the ambient light through a tiny sensor. For two days, I was convinced it was broken. Of course, it always worked when the significant other used it, but it was iffy when I did--sometimes it would light up, sometimes not. Turns out, I was often opening it outdoors or under bright flourescents, while he only got the chance to play with it at night or in dim places. It was suggested to me that perhaps it was light sensitive. Well, I blew that suggestion off until I had the same thought myself. I called Jennifer and I said, "Hey, you know what? I think the phone is light-sensitive!" She said, "Uh, yeah, I told you that yesterday," which I swear I don't remember her saying.

I was this close to sending the phone back again when I saw the light. Hah!! And no, nowhere in the paperwork does Motorola mention this added feature. Surely I am not the only dim bulb (Hah!! again) who was confused by this, Motorola guys. One other cute thing about the phone is a little Motorola-branded spongy pad that you can attach to it that can be used to clean the screens so you don't have to use your shirt-tail. Silly, but actually useful. Overall, I like the phone. I like the feel of of it, the reception is good, and it handled me dropping it first thing out of the box with nary a hiccup.

Oh, and one last thing I learned: For some reason, calling the folks at Cingulair to activate the new phone's sim card on your old phone (with the same phone number) and then handing the phone over to your boyfriend to complete the transaction is a good way to have your boyfriend get mad enough at you to stop talking to you for not less than half an hour.

TechnoLust

2005-08-12T11:23:00.000-05:00

Although I am a first adopter for many things--one of the first in my neighborhood with the internet, a long-standing webpage, I've been reading "Wired" for ages--I, Dear Reader, am getting old. I was talking about the groping charge against Christian Slater at work and the kiddies there were all like, "Who?" which was followed by the sound of this old lady gasping and falling out. Christian Slater, people! Heathers! And don't you dare leave a comment about how you don't know who he is, either.

The kids of today don't know how great they have it. I remember consoling myself in high school when my boyfriend had to be out of town by dreaming of the far future when we would have picture phones. Sure enough, they're here (kinda). We had no computers in my day except for in the computer lab, where there was a green screen, no graphical interface, and all I could do on the damn thing was have it print out (on a dot matrix printe r!) my name 150 thousand times.

As for phones, back when I was a young 'un, one did not start a phone conversation by asking "Where are you?" I knew where you were--you were five feet away from your avacado-colored refrigerator. You whippersnappers with your text messaging blow this old lady's mind. I texted a young friend a couple of days ago. "C. . ou. . . .ld. .. . . .yo. . .u. . . giv. . .e. . . . . .me. . .Pa. . u. .. .l'. . .s. . . ph. . .o . . .n . . .e. . .nu. . .mb.. . er. . . .?" Before I could even set the phone down to rest my arthritic fingers from the half hour it took me to type this, the answer came back.

Anyhoo, this is all a set up to introduce the newest member of my family, my Motorola Razr. It's so hip, it doesn't even need all the old-timey vowels! It is sharp, I'm telling you. I got it with you in mind, too. I wanted a phone with a camera so I could add show to my tell on the old Hattie's Blog. Unfortunately, I still have to buy some stuff so I can upload images, and with what the phone set the household buget back, that may be a while.

I had to steal it to save it

2005-08-10T13:11:00.000-05:00

My mother is a retired librarian, so I grew up with a peculiar mix of reverence and casual disregard for the written word. I read addictively--around 5 books a week--but I also neglect to get my books returned on time. (Mom always forgave my fines. Well, I'm paying for that now. But I pay gladly--libraries are one of the best deals around. )

Several years ago I went to a library in a very small town (Congrats on your brand new Walmart, small, unnamed Mississippi town! You have hit the big-time.), where I worked occasionally and had one of my three library cards. One of my mini-manias at the time was photography, and I checked out a book of photographs called Photographs, oddly enough, by Emmet Gowin, whom I had never heard of. Shortly after bringing it home, I realized that it would have to stay with me longer than the prescribed two weeks. It was eerie, it was beautiful, and to the wrong eyes, it would have been seen as nasty. It had dead people, creepy Santas, the seemingly inbred, mocking of the elderly and witchy-looking women. If I turned it back in, sooner or later, some yahoo would call attention to the seductive picture of a young girl and boy entertwined, the boobies, the naked pregnant woman, or the lady peeing, and that would be the end of old Emmet in that library. So I "lost" it. And I paid for it--$15, if I remember correctly. But it felt like stealing.

Nancy and Dwayne

Photography is a tool for dealing with things everybody knows about
but isn't attending to.
--Emmet Gowin